Beer League Movie
Storyline
TAGLINES
No Gut, No Glory
His team has the biggest balls in the league.
Step Up. Shape Up. Sober Up.
Beer, broads and baseball combine with hilarious results in ARTIE LANGE'S BEER LEAGUE...an over-the-top comedy about a group of misfits whose weekly softball games seem to have a lot more to do with getting into fights for macho dominance than hitting home runs. Artie is an unemployed and unmotivated drunk that is predictably still living with his mother. He is on a losing softball team, and he and his teammates are facing the end of softball as they know it if they can't pull it together. When love enters his life, it unexpectedly alters Artie's low self-esteem, and the odds for winning, not only the league trophy, but a new life, are certainly looking up. He and his teammates will have to go for the win, and survive all the comedy and chaos along the way.
| Artie Lange | Artie DeVanzo |
| Ralph Macchio | Maz |
| Anthony DeSando | Dennis Mangenelli |
| Cara Buono | Linda Salvo |
| Jimmy Palumbo | Johnny Trinno |
| Jerry Minor | Tim |
| Laurie Metcalf | Artie's Mom |
| Seymour Cassel | Dirt |
| Michael Deeg | Alfonse |
| Elizabeth Regen | Gina |
| Maddie Corman | Marilyn |
| Joe Lo Truglio | Dave |
| Kamal Ahmed | Umpire #3 |
| Armin Amiri | Steakhouse Waiter |
| Todd Barry | Creepy Guy Down the Shore |
| Frank Sebastiano |
5.90 out of 10 (2082 votes)
Visitor Reviews
Just What You Should Expect From Lange!
posted on 18 Aug 2009Ready for me to bash this film? Not a chance. After reading other negative reviews, let me say the following... Artie Lange has never presented himself falsely. He is a crudely funny everyman who likes babes, sports and drink. This is conveyed perfectly in the hilarious Beer League. This film is loaded with dirty jokes, insults and nonstop boozing. Good. Nobody does it better than Lange. The casting director should move up quickly. Beer League is made believable by insanely realistic Jersey Girls and Guys. I have not laughed so hard at a film since Kingpin (1996). It does help to be a baseball fan, by the way... If you dig sports, strippers and tasty brewskies, then give this obviously unappreciated gem a look. Thanks, Artie!
Attack of the Million Plot lines
posted on 01 Jun 2009I'm a huge Howard Stern fan, and I've been excited to see this movie since I first heard Artie talking about it on the Stern show. I was not expecting much out of this movie - just a stupid movie with some good laughs. But this film fell far short of my already very low expectations. There were plot lines within plot lines within plot lines - each one slowing down any kind of flow the movie tried to catch. When the softball part started to get somewhat interesting, the love story would bog it down. Artie tried to do a John Candy and be the farcical yet believable character - but he just did a bunch of Artie-shtick. He really was not able to carry this movie. It was kind of a fun movie, but even the fun scenes such as the bachelor party felt like a drag - clumsily staged and just awkward. Ralph Maccio rocked. Hopefully he will get in more movies from doing this one. The enemy antagonist was good at his role, but it was just too unbelievable. This guy has the best softball team, owns the best gym, AND is running for mayor? All of these different plot lines began to give me a headache and made me look at my watch waiting for the end. There are some good laughs, but we get mostly one liners here. In fairness, I should add that my friend who saw it with me has never listened to the Stern show and liked the movie a lot better than I did. This is a good TV movie or Netflix movie, but I wouldn't recommend seeing it in the theaters.
Good if you've had three-quarters of your brain removed
posted on 26 May 2009Hey - it's "The Bad News Bears" again, but this time it's an older guy's softball team. How many times is this storyline going to be thrown back at us (I guess as long as we keep paying to watch).Hey - there's also the loose woman with a heart of gold and the villainous villain who struts and grabs his crotch a lot.There were some good scenes and there may have been something worthwhile in the screenplay and some of the characters but ultimately the thing was edited to fit the formula so that that which may have been worthwhile was lost or left to sit shining alone with no beginning or resolution. A long disjointed sentence with no commas.My advice -- Do not pay money for this. Download it for free, burn it to a CD -- then burn the CD.
Enjoyable ,down-to-earth movie
posted on 18 Apr 2009This movie did a great job of bringing real life people we all know in a funny well written movie. Artie Lange did a great job portraying a character a lot like himself. He has a natural acting ability and created a warm, caring loser. The humor was crude but hysterical. The actors were all perfectly cast and enjoyable to watch. It was nice to see a low budgeted movie so well filmed and edited. I intend to go see the movie again to hear some of the jokes missed by the audience laughter. I hope to see Artie Lange do some more writing, the script was honest and believable. It obviously was a labor of love. Although there was plenty of cursing and sex-play, it added to the theme of the movie. I hope this film launches Artie to more starring roles. Hollywood needs more "honest" film-making
Great Movie
posted on 17 Feb 2009If your 20 - 50 and have been on a softball team, or hung out with people on a softball team you will understand how funny this movie is. How can someone write that this movie sucked? It is about guys drinking, talking about chicks, not having a responsibility in the world, and playing softball and making fun of each other. It is everything you wish you could do again, and keep on doing. The cast is awesome. Artie is great, Ralph is OK, Palumbo is hilarious. They go to a local bar after their games, get boozed up, make fun of each other and not give a crap. Thanks Artie for making this movie. Every time I am half in the bag I will watch this movie. The best scene is when they are in the diner and order cheese fries and gravy fries with extra on the side. WHat is not funny about this????? Artie's bad acting? Who gives a rats ass, I'm not looking to watch a funny Citizen Cane, I want real humor, not forced scripted humor like your watching a Kevin Smith movie. 5 STARS and 2 THUMBS UP anyone's butt who has anything bad to say about this movie
Exceeded expectations
posted on 29 Dec 2008I wasn't expecting much from this film, I'd just watched the first 20 minutes of that terrible film 'Beer Fest' and I think the 'Beer' in the title was turning me off.However...Right from the start I was laughing and it continued to entertain the whole way through. The next day I found myself quoting gags non-stop. There's a great deal of dumb laughs, but there's also some gold in there. Watch out for the 'Boston Cop' for instance.Definitely better than anything else in the genre at present. A great guy's comedy through and through.
Exactly as promised! Lots of laughs...
posted on 05 Dec 2008How can anyone complain about this movie?? It's extremely funny at times and exactly what was promised, a small budget comedy with lots of raunchy humor. Just like everything else Stern related I think people feel the need to be critical even when it isn't warranted. Go see the movie. If you're a fan of the Stern show and a fan of Artie you won't be disappointed. I was surprised to see how much of the movie came directly from Artie's real life experiences. Any true fan will spot them right away (including the Mattingly poster!). This may not be the movie you want to take a first date to go see but it's good for a fun night out with the guys. I just hope everyone that leaves a comment actually saw the movie and aren't just making up comments to push an agenda.
not enough sneering and gay jokes?
posted on 03 Dec 2008I don't know anything about the howard stern show, or john belushi, or the innumerable seemingly tangential associations commenters have been bringing to this film but I will say that this film must belong to as an yet undefined genre of Italian-American exploitation films. It should share the wall with Blacula, Born in East LA, or My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Personally I find that kind of sentimentality to be as boring as baseball... but I did laugh a few times. Jokes are delivered with enough pregnant pause to make a light comedy Brechtian. Here's my own tangential association: Scrubs. (Inner dialogue): "what was that film... somebody and kumar go to white castle? Yeah, I thought that film was more creative."
duh!
posted on 14 Oct 2008I suppose Artie Lange can be funny at times. It took me a long time to accept him on Howard's show. I wasn't a big fan of Jackie, and it seemed to me that hiring Artie was a step down even then. I thought he had the most annoying laugh, and he was crude and sloppy. I kinda sorta warmed up to Artie after a bit, he said some funny things on the show now and again. I even lol'd when he told his "Bowel Movement" story during the last few weeks of Howard's terrestrial radio tenure. However, I definitely wouldn't consider myself a huge fan.Now, after seeing this movie, my opinion of Artie has just dropped about 100 levels. This movie is so bad. There were numerous scenes that made me cringe, especially anything that pertained to sex and bodily functions. Oh wait! That would be the entire movie! The plot of this movie is nothing new. How many times can you make the same movie? The "underdog losers" cannot stand the humiliation...decide it's time to win win win!!!! (blahblahblahblah) The dialogue is crude, foul and obnoxious. I can only think of one or two lines that actually made me laugh audibly. Otherwise it was a ridiculous insult to my intelligence. My eyeballs hurt like hell afterward from rolling them so many times.I love stupid humor. Most of my favorite movies are stupid movies. Having said that, I don't think this movie can even come close to the level of 'stupidy' I have ever witnessed in any any other movie in my entire life. 'Mentally challenged', perhaps!?!?! Thank goodness I got to see it for free! I would have hated myself if I'd actually donated my hard earned money to Artie's coke & Jack habits to watch that garbage.Oh and by the way, the more popular Italian foods aren't pronounced "gobigole", "galamade", and "mooootzarelle". Say any of those "words" to a real Italian and you'd get slapped like a biatch.I recommend that you see this movie if you're a bloated, unintelligent, couch-potato, beer-swilling, mid-life crisis case.
One of the worst movies ever made...
posted on 04 Oct 2008It's really surprising that some people on this thread adore this film. It shows you how low standards have sunk. I watched this late night on Comedy Central (it was uncut and uncensored), and I was appalled at how awful it really is. Artie Lange has absolutely no presence as a leading man. He ends up ruining the film. Honestly, it's not that great of a script (big fat slob who has good looking girlfriend who wants him to get a real job, etc., etc..), but with a halfway decent actor, it might have been OK. But with Lange, it's complete garbage.I had only heard of Artie Lange after a friend of mine sent me a clip of him at a Comedy Central roast of William Shatner. Artie Lange said at the roast that Lisa Lampinelli was seven bad movies away from being Janeane Garofalo (he also called Ms. Garofalo a f***ing c***, which shows you his maturity level). Well, Janeane has made some bad films, but nothing she's made compares to this garbage, and Janeane has tons of screen presence and is usually the best thing in the films she does. Many fans of Artie like him for his standup and appearances on Howard Stern, and say he's not really film/TV material. So perhaps Mr. Lange should just concentrate on standup and radio, and not do feature films.
Short, simple, sweet
posted on 10 Sep 2008I'd heard bad things about Beer League, even from the faithful on the Howard Stern show. Sophomoric humor and dumb jokes that Artie should have been ashamed to put on the screen (he's much better than that). Well, I decided to take the plunge. I rented this and another comedy in the same night, and decided to watch this first to get it out of the way. I was pleasantly surprised--it was actually an enjoyable flick! It wasn't wonderful, but then it didn't try to be. It was basically about a bunch of goombaas from northern New Jersey who enjoy playing softball with each other, and the complications that occur when they vie for a championship with a team headed by Artie's arch-nemesis. Throw in a love interest and you've got a clichéd, hackneyed, predictable plot; but at the same time, these guys make it fun to watch. They never take themselves or the movie too seriously. Artie's the funniest, of course, and as his love life develops his character shows himself to be a sweet guy, too. All the characters love softball, but they also love each other, despite all the arguing they do. I agree with another reviewer--the main shortcoming is the direction. It wasn't tight enough--there were many beats that needed to be shorter. But I got used to it (maybe it's cause I'm from Jersey originally). All in all, not a bad way to spend 87 minutes. (One strange thing about the movie--despite the title, there is almost no beer in it!)
Hilarious! Don't expect too much and you'll be happy.
posted on 02 Sep 2008This movie was funny from beginning to end (and I am not a Howard Stern fan). Everyone has different tastes but after reading some other comments I have to ask one question. What would you expect from an Artie Lange movie!?! This isn't aimed at the Fraser Crain's of the world. It's aimed at normal everyday people who don't take themselves too seriously and don't have to over analyze every movie they see. Yes it's dirty and vulgar and full of penis jokes but it somehow still ends up being a very cute movie. It will win no awards for a suspenseful plot and there were no surprises but I thought the comedic acting was fabulous and the dialog very funny. Basically, if you don't have a stick up your butt you will probably like it and you will have a smile on your face when it's over.
Lange is good but deserves a better editor
posted on 27 Aug 2008Artie Lange has talent. If it's one thing someone can walk away from this film with, it's that Lange is a funny man and has a real ability to portray a realistic human being and a damn funny one. The movie is pretty solid from a creative viewpoint and Artie himself is classic. He's truly in comedic form and simply outpaces everybody else in this movie. The supporting cast is sweet--through I didn't recognize Ralph Macchio until the credits--and there's nothing wrong there. I'm not damning with false praise when I think that Lange's performance in 'Dirty Work' is surpassed here with this film. It's raunchy without apology, and it works very well.The only problem is the film seems to be made on the cheap and the plot development was a bit rough. Not bad like they hired a pizza boy to do the editing, but it was noticeable enough to distract. The film quality itself is perfect and it's a damn shame this film didn't get a better word of mouth. While this is a gem, it shouldn't be found in a Wal-Mart bargain bin for $5.All and all, if you are a big Artie Lange fan, this is the movie where he returns to the brilliant guy we know from MadTV when he was propping that show up and Dirty Work. Now if he would only do a few more and get his life back into order, the world would be a better place.
Beer League is Strictly Bush League
posted on 30 Jul 2008Artie Lang's Beer League is a movie that begs to be liked. Sadly, all the begging in the world cannot save this turkey from sickening everyone at the table.The tale of a woeful men's softball team from New Jersey, Beer League quickly establishes which of the three most common low-budget film categories (good; bad, but good because it's so bad; just plain bad) it falls into. Artie Lang's Beer League was originally to be titled simply Beer League, but, in an obvious attempt to increase box office sales, the producers tagged on its star's name. Clearly, this decision came after the final prints were made, and so the opening credits read Beer League, sans the Howard Stern sidekick's moniker. This glaring error serves as an unmistakable sign of the disaster to come.Borrowing from Lang's comedic persona as a fat, heavy-drinking everyman, and stealing outright from The Bad News Bears, Beer League fails in almost every area a successful mainstream comedy needs to achieve: unfunny jokes, a hackneyed storyline, and a pedestrian performance from the lead actor.Lang (who shares screen writing credit), is Artie (no kidding), a 35-year old, unemployed dock worker from northern New Jersey who lives at home with his mother, and spends his free time hitting softballs against his garage, getting drunk, and smoking cigarettes. Despite the cliché of the character, Artie has a vague likability, and the viewer feels moved to give the big lug the benefit of the doubt that he will flesh out. He never does--nor do any of the other characters.Herein, lies the biggest problem with Beer League: the characters all appear to have the potential to become funny, or, at least sympathetic; but they never come close on either count. It's in the nature of the average viewer to root for the equally average fictional character. We like when we can vicariously soften the sharp edges of reality a bit with a few laughs at our own collective expense. Somehow, Beer League not only misses this sure-thing connection with its audience, it incredibly makes working stiff reality seem even more hopeless.Cara Buono plays Artie's on and off girlfriend, Linda Salvo, a beautiful but trampy blonde who sleeps with and later falls in love with him, for reasons that cannot be surmised through common sense. Buono's attractiveness commands attention, and while she possesses screen presence and acting ability, she isn't given very much more to do than look the part. Their relationship never develops into the sub-plot that might have been intended, and, moreover, continues the disturbing and unentertaining 21st century trend (the roots of which are traceable through the TV show The King of Queens and further back to The Honeymooners) of creating romantic couplings of gorgeous women with overweight ne'er-do-wells. Jackie Gleason had the personal vitality to make it work--Artie Lang doesn't.Even a bachelor party for Artie's friend, Maz (Ralph "The Karate Kid" Macchio), can't elicit more than minimal snickers, and most of those are reserved for porn star Keisha, playing a female entertainer who fires ping-pong balls from her, uh, anatomy, that Artie and others attempt to hit with a bat. F-U-N.Macchio turns in a respectable performance, as does the rest of the cast, though they are given precious little funny to do. During one drama-building attempt gone awry, a drunken Artie misses Maz's wedding, where he is to be the best man. Maz is peeved, Artie apologizes, and nothing more comes of it (other than Maz's wife later referring to Artie with what, I assume, is supposed to be stock "New Jersey colorful language").More might have been made of the missed wedding had the writers not decided at to inexplicably kill off of the single funny character in the movie.Veteran actor Seymour Cassel as Dirt, the team's pitcher and patriarchal leader, steals the first half of the movie with an effectively crusty, sarcastic performance. Dirt has most of the worthwhile lines, which are in short supply. In a strange irony, Cassel's one-dimensional character ends up being the only one with any depth. When Dirt dies, so does the chance for Beer League to acquit itself in any respectable way.Enter The Bad News Bears as the team of drunken misfits, Artie leading the charge, re-dedicate themselves to winning the season in Dirt's honor. The rest you've seen before, except instead of laughing at Walter Matthau, you are wincing at Artie Lang..In a supporting role, Jimmy Palumbo portrays teammate Johnny Trinno whose running joke is that he performs an out loud play-by-play about himself and his batting average whenever he steps to the plate. This joke grows stale rapidly, as does the bar and ball field banter where the characters call each other the usual assortment of profane names that movies like this want you to believe is "regular guy talk." Anthony DeSando is Artie's high-school-turned-softball-league-rival, Dennis Mangenelli, who has gone right everywhere Artie has gone wrong. The conflict between the arch-rivals is hackneyed and flat, another opportunity for laughs wasted.Cameos by Frank Pelligrino, Louis Lombardi (The Sopranos), Laurie Metcalf, as Artie's mom, and comedian Jim Breuer, as an insulting boardwalk vendor, suggest that Lang has charitable friends.Instead of spending your ten dollars on Artie Lang's Beer League, go treat yourself to some actual beer.
Fun guy flick
posted on 28 Jul 2008If chicks can have chick flicks like "the Last Kiss" and all that bullsh*t, guys can have guy movies. This is a great guy's sports comedy in the tradition of "Slap Shot" and "Bad News Bears" (the original.) Its down to earth, low budget, profane, offensive and all around fun. Artie is great (and looks about 100 pounds lighter than he is now.) Seymour Cassell is a riot and everyone else turns in decent performances. The great Joe LoTrulio, of "the State" is a little under-used, but he's still great as the "team psycho" character. The black guy from Mr. Show is great as well (can't remember his name). The only thing in this movie that offended me is that they are all Yankees fans (I'm from Massachusetts). Well, Yankees suck, Jeter blows, A-Rod swallows and this movie is great!
I was disappointed
posted on 18 Jul 2008"Beer League" is far from awful, but I found it to be surprisingly bland. I like Artie Lange, and he has flaunted his talent well in past movies like "Dirty Work" and "The Bachelor," and of course on the TV show "Mad TV." So I was looking forward to this movie. I'm glad I didn't see it in theaters. First off, I didn't have any problems with the film's raunchiness. As a matter of fact, I thought it would be much raunchier. The movie received an R-rating for "nonstop language," but I've seen other R-rated flicks with much more profanity than this one. It did have a decent amount of nudity, though. I was impressed with the bachelor party scene, which contained more than a fair share of fully nude strippers. What can I say? I'm a man with two eyes. Sue me! Artie himself is a native New-Jersey-ian, and I like that he chose to shoot the whole film right here in the Garden State. The main problem I had with the movie is that the jokes simply go nowhere. I managed some small laughs and chuckles throughout the course of the film, but no belly laughs. Lange is a talented comedian, but he needs to brush up on his comedy writing. He's no Larry David, that's for sure. The comedy mostly consists of bland dirty jokes that would only cause you to laugh uproariously if you were to hear them from a guy in a bar, having just downed about 12 beers and 8 shots of Jack. The punchlines are belted out with no sense of delivery or timing. Like I've said in previous reviews, profanity in itself is not funny. Even dirty jokes must be handled with some sort of finesse. I believe Artie is capable of much more, and hopefully he proves that to us in upcoming films. I disagree with anyone who says he has the talent of John Belushi. Come on, John Belushi? Because he looks like him and is fat like him? Those are the only reasons I could think of. Belushi was practically a perfectionist when it came to comedy, whereas Artie is much more laid-back. Anyway, back to "Bear League." I give the movie credit for not being over-the-top. On the plus side, it's not one of these obnoxious farces that are filled with ridiculous sight gags. And it sure as heck isn't like any of those schmaltzy sports comedies. I was just simply expecting a lot, lot more, especially with the talents involved in the film. Seymour Cassel is a fine, underrated veteran actor, but he's not given much to do. Ralph Macchio does a fine job as well. When I found out he was in the cast, I thought he would play himself, like what often happens when has-been actors are cast in movies. But he didn't, and I was impressed.
It doesn't have much of a plot , but it has jokes for weeks.
posted on 26 Jun 2008If you're looking for a feel-good movie about a team with good guys down on their luck, rising up to the challenge and really putting their heart and soul into winning against the odds, this is the WRONG movie.Although the plot is well... not very much of a plot to discuss, this movie is all about the jokes.And Artie Lange mostly delivers a lot of funny jokes, most are really raw, however the scenes in the strip-bar were to much even for me.It was nice to see RALPH MACCIO (The Karate Kid) once again though all grown up and stuff, and he did pretty good as Artie's best friend.Like I said Artie Lange is funny as usual BUT he's not really lead-material, he's better off as a sidekick, preferably to Norm McDonald in NORM and DIRTY WORK.Oh yeah, and they played some baseball too.
Belushi Returns as Artie
posted on 26 Jun 2008Well I saw the flick today and although i was worried because of the 2mil budget this film rocks. Its funny as hell and remindes me of the old school and animal house films. Artie really does remind me of John Belushi, he looks like him and acts like him and has the same sense of humor. I predit this movie will be a surprise hit and launch Artie . Hell 2 million is nothing today in movie budgets averaging 100mil and when this thing grosses 40 million people will take notice.I really like Ralfh Macho and the other cast as well. The Pitching machine was great.Way to go Artie, a home run for sure
I didn't expect much and I didn't get much
posted on 19 Apr 2008I just saw the preview in Paramus and I wanted to be wrong about my gut feeling on this movie. Artie, I loved you on Norm and I love you on Howard, there were even a couple of moments in this otherwise waste of my time that you made me laugh. Robin's prediction of this movie becoming and overwhelming success on yesterday's show and causing you to leave the show will not likely occur. This movie was just awful. The plot was terrible, the acting is amongst the worst I've ever seen, The story was oh so predictable. It was just a manifestation of a Stern Show skit which plays well on the radio when you are usually doing something else at the same time, but it hurts when you are sitting down and focusing solely on it. This movie looks very much like a very low budget B movie. If I was at home watching this on cable, I'd turn on anything that wasn't Beer League.Artie, Please Please Please keep your day job.... You're very good at that.
How come this wasn't a bigger hit?
posted on 24 Aug 2009Ditto on what the dude with the cat said earlier. This was a great film! I think I will buy it after I return the rental copy. Note to Artie: I am worried about you brother...please stick around this planet for a long long time, you can do funny and sad like no other. Genius. Stop with the weight gain, I want to see back around 230 lbs. By the way the other actors in Beer League turned in strong performances as well. Artie's love interest was cute and endearing (hints of Dana) and how about the Karate Kid? He was understated and seemed to really compliment Artie's character. One more thing, I almost wet myself when the black team mate touches his lip after Artie's movie girlfriend screams at the opposing pitcher thanking him for her gift. Comedy gold--and don't forget to drop some of those pounds Artie.