Into The Sun Movie
Storyline
TAGLINES
Only one man can stop the Yakuza.
After the assassination of Tokyo's Governor by Yakuza members, the CIA bureau chief (William Atherton) for Tokyo puts out a call to an agent (Steven Seagal) that had been raised in Japan and trained by ex-Yakuza. Using his former ties, he quickly determines that a war is brewing between old-guard Yakuza members and a young, crazed leader (Takao Osawa) with ties to the Chinese Tong. Siding with the older members, killing and mayhem ensues as Segal chops his way through the upstart gang members. Contains frequent profanity, very gory violence involving considerable swordplay, some nudity and mild sexual situations.
| Steven Seagal | Travis Hunter |
| Matthew Davis | Sean |
| Takao Osawa | Kuroda |
| Eddie George | Jones |
| William Atherton | Agent Block |
| Juliette Marquis | Jewel |
| Ken Lo | Chen |
| Kosuke Toyohara | Fudomyo-o |
| Akira Terao | Matsuda |
| Eve Masatoh | Kojima |
| Chiaki Kuriyama | Ayako |
| Kanako Yamaguchi | Nayako |
| Namihiko Ohmura | Takeshi |
| Daisuke Honda | Kawamura |
| mink |
4.10 out of 10 (1491 votes)
Visitor Reviews
Into the boredom
posted on 19 Jun 2009Supposedly this film was Seagal's big comeback. It had a 35 million dollar budget ( The average seagal dtv film costs around 20 mill) and was suppose to get a limited release in theaters. Luckily it didn't because this movie is boring. This thing called "boring" has plagued about half of Seagal's DTV movies. As a Seagal fan all I ask is for entertainment. I've given up on him actually saying all his own lines or doing all his own fights. I just want some freakin action!!!!! Give me a basic plot so Seagal can go out and beat up and kill as many people as he can in and hour in a half. This movie did surprise me though. After being bored for most of the entire film it suddenly got really good at the end. Seagal busts in and starts chopping arms of with a sword. Why couldn't he have done this the whole movie??? So my advice to anyone that rents this movie is this: Skip to the very end and enjoy the violence.
"Into the Sun" is definitely action-packed, but it still fails to deliver classic Seagal fun
posted on 19 Jun 2009What is so amazing about Seagal's direct to video movies are that they all have similar problems. You would think that after making a mistake on one movie, the next would improve in quality, and continue to do so until they are enjoyable films. Jean Claude Van Damme is doing it, so you really wonder why it is so much harder for Seagal. He has always been a bigger action star then Seagal ever was; and there is no doubt he has always had more hits. Still, Seagal fails with all of his Direct to Videos to do one thing: bring a certain level of quality and entertainment to his fans.To be fair, "Into the Sun" is probably the best movie Seagal has put out since 2001's "Exit Wounds". For some, that's not saying much, because reviews have always been mixed on the movies he has made in his later career. All of his post "Half Past Dead" projects have had three major problems.1. Lack of a Coherent Storyline 2. Stunt Doubles 3. Voice Overs"Into the Sun" had a 35 million dollar budget, and was intended to be released theatrically, so it does look a little better than his other films, but not much better. The stunt doubles are still here, along with the choppy editing and hole-filled plot. But this does have a little more violence then Seagal's more recent films, so maybe bloodthirsty fans can appreciate it more.Seagal is a CIA-agent who is assigned the task of investigating the "yakuza", better known as the Chinese mafia. Anyway, Seagal gets tangled up in a war between the "yakuza" and "triads", and ends up having to use his own brand of justice to settle things.Extremely formulaic, Seagal really is in a stupor for most of the film. He is still overweight, and there is no reason to assume he will ever get back into decent shape ever again. Still, the film was an okay rental, and Seagal's performance was a little better than it has been lately. The Asian locale was nice as well, but I think Seagal should return the United States or at least Canada if possible.Honestly, this film was pretty bad. Yes it was an improvement, and I could tolerate it, but it is still embarrassing to watch Seagal work in these conditions. Once a hardcore Seagal fan, movies like these have turned me off from the man, and I am hesitant to even rent his later movies. The most frustrating thing is that Seagal could do better, he just doesn't. Overall, I will probably never pay money for a Seagal film again,at least not without careful consideration first.
Into The Sun, An Apt Title Perhaps?
posted on 20 May 2009We unfortunate few who have to work 9 to 5 may not see the world, but giving a watch to any and i do mean any of Steven Seagal's less than glorious output over the years will certainly have had their passport stamped with the various locales populating many of Seagal's action films.As has come to pass, the main man never operates beyond a sullen expression and flapping hands. The majority of his filmography will clearly illustrate such a fact, however the stories applied have always been interesting and action packed if somewhat overly familiar.When was the last time Seagal ever played an ordinary man, without living in peril or living on his wits, i guess time will tell. Looking upon his latest effort, Into The Sun, you could be forgiven for thinking that this specific project was a representation of a Cyanara if you will for Seagal playing once again a cool as ice agent ready to shake off the dust and waltz off into the sunset once the job at hand is done.Much could have been said for the likes of Belly Of The Best, when first we glimpsed his character in that, A decent little story, with Seagal doing what he does best, but the sight of his expanding waistline clearly stated that time had come to pass, especially, when seen exacting his authority, Seagal in full action was viewed in long shot.Anyways, once again indulging himself with a taste for the orient, Seagal portrays another agent called in for his expertise in all things Chinease, in this case the Yakuza and the Tong. As has become apparent with a few of the last movies, Into The Sun, represents a movie of two halves, the first have interspersed with glimpses of Seagal, but the majority of the first act concerns the basic crux of the plot, internal strife and rivalry between both factions.Once we speed up, Seagal takes over as does the action, which to be honest is the main interest of the movie. Seagal showcasing his talents for masterful swordplay, if precious little else. The strangest thing however, whenever character's were speaking in their own tongue, we as the viewer were not able to understand what they were saying, I guess in some cases actions speak louder than words.If there was a story to be found in this film, I would say it was flimsy at best, as Seagal was co-creator of such as well as writing the script and producing the movie, why he even sings the end song over the credits, you can't say you don't get your monies worth here. Alas however a nagging doubt remains, being reminded of the title, Into the Sun, an apt title perhaps? Looking at his upcoming slate, Seagal shows no signs of slowing down, perhaps a little care and attention to storytelling is needed, in any event i'll always make time for anything he makes. For now however i think i'll refresh my memory of the days when a Seagal movie was truly fun, let's hear it for Out for Justice.
Chinese and Japanese do not mix
posted on 28 Apr 2009If your going to make a movie related to Japan especially for someone like Steven Seagal who speaks Japanese and knows Aikido you need to stick to what you know.Chinese do not enter Japanese politics ever unlike Koreans in Japan. They could not careless nor would the Chinese living in Japan who are just here for work. You ain't going to find many Chinese triads in Japan either. If they knew what they were doing they would have the Korean Yakuza which would have made sense. I wish they would quit mixing Asians to cover for just about every other country expect where they are originally from. Cheap movies always have Chinese filling in for Japanese and more commonly American Japanese who imigrated like 3 generations ago and don't speak a work of Japanese. One would have thought it costs more to hire English non-speaking Japanese.As for Tokyo Chinatown?? I wish, no such thing... Only Yokohama Chinatown in my neighbourhood.It would be a great movie for blind foreigners who hope to never come to Japan because it's like they built the set in New Orleans hired Filipinos to build it while under supervision of an Indian director born and raised in Timbuktu and only speaks Russian. Next time use only local people to get the job done and don't MIX.Nope they don't mix...
into the sun? unfortunately more like..into the boredom
posted on 24 Apr 2009Let me get these things out of the way first. 1. I watched an average quality screener, and before you jump on me- i will buy this as an original when its out to support Seagal. Not because this is great, but because his last 2 films are heading in the right direction. 2, I love Seagal and early his early films. Except for Belly of The Beast, its been a disappointing last couple of years - Out of Reach & The Foreigner were the worst of the lot.3.When i heard about the reviews for Into The Sun on ain't it cool- i was excited, very excited that this was gonna rock. The reviewer made it sound better than belly of the beast, and the best thing seagal has done in years- unfortunately i don't see what has warranted these new-found views that its brilliant and different to the last loads of average films.OK so the pros- 1. Seagal doesn't look that fat ( maybe its the coat) 2. Finally a film without other actors doing the voice overs, 3. The action - when it does happen is very good. Good hand to hand fights, sword fights and well edited, 4.Seagal looks interested in being in this film 5. An effort has been made to get Japanese culture, people, humour into the film- although that stand up comedian bugged the crap out of me. 6. Exciting first 2 minutes, & last 20 minutesThe Cons - 1. A storyline that has been done before- and better 2. Took 70 minutes to get through a 20 minute storyline. 3. The Pacing - first 70 minutes, about 3 minutes of action scenes. 4. Not enough action 5. Asian gangs talking in poor English to each other, with no other English people around. No real need to speak English, but they do. 6.There was no attempt to develop characters, or care for seagal's relationship with his fiancée. 7. Paying William Atherton to be in this movie, then have him sit behind a desk the whole movie, for his full 10 minute screen time.8. From minute 3 to minute 70, its pretty boring, it would have been better with more action and had it spread. Come on Seagal golden action rules - get the storyline out of the way in the first 20 minutes - then kick arse for the next 80 minutes.If you wanna have so much dialogue, have a 10 minute action scene at the 1st minute, 40 th minute and 70th minute. 3 big actions scenes - 1 every act of the film. How could film buffs and action fans know the rules but you not???I did give it 7/10. 5 cause its seagal, 2 for effort & i knew what you were trying to achieve, it just didn't execute well...Better luck next timeDan
Blotted out the sun is more like it.
posted on 19 Feb 2009In to the Sun was supposed to be Steven Seagal's big comeback to theaters.With a 35 million dollar budget to boot.I can see why Screen Gems chose to send this to DTV.How did this cost 35 million? The movie is not bad.Its just more of the same.Things are recycled from past Seagal movies.Where does he come up with the names of his characters.Travis Hunter?Can you say that with a straight face? On the bright side We get a fight at a market that delivers,but ends too soon.The swordplay is decent.Seagal still has what it takes.The movie looks good.Director Mink does an okay job.But we have all seen this before.Done better.Seagal seems to only given a half try to get in shape for this.But at times the old Seagal pops in like during the "are these your chopsticks" line.That kind of sass is what made him a star.The other actors are just okay.Willam Atherton is the only other name.Mathhew Davis is the token sidekick slash comic relief.The bad guys are menacing.Note to the producers:no love scenes with SS involving a girl that is clearly TOO young for him.What also contributes to Into the Sun being above his last 4 is the setting.The Asian backdrop works quite well.As it did in Belly of the Beast.Keep setting them here Stevie.Its working.Overall Into the Sun is a decent movie that is more professional and looks better than Seagals Last few efforts.Minus Belly of the Beast. He needs a solid effort Like Van Damme's recent Wake of Death though.6/10
As a Seagal fan I disliked it...
posted on 22 Jan 2009weren't the late 80's and first half of the 90's great people? We have this guy who can't act but sure as hell kick a punch in movies with mostly no plot at all except for him kicking ass for 90 minutes long. OK, so they did have a little plot but the movies were all about Steven kicking the butts of bad guys. Steven would hit, kick, run, jump etc etc and people would get there bones broken in the nastiest ways. Who can forget the guy with the meat cleaver in "Out for Justice"? The way that was handled: pure testosterone filled ballet! Now it's the new millennium and the only decent thing our aikido hero has released was Exit Wounds (with lots of help from wire-fu, funny script, good co-stars, a good director, Steven who went to the gym etc etc). OK so Belly of the beast was decent, but not when you consider Steven had a body-double in tons of scenes.So here is Into the sun, the latest fight fest from Steven and what does it contains: -An openings scene which has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie. It works for James Bond but not here - Steven doing pinkypink with his soon-to-be-wife (lame!) About one aikido fighting the first hour of the movie (against a couple of street kids) - The rest is sword fights to the end - Unimaginative baddies (I miss those guys from Under Siege 1 & 2, Hard to kill etc) - Too much uninteresting plot too little fighting.All Steven needs is a simple plot for him to go on a one-man-rampage across a lot of different locations fighting lots of men to get to his goal... Nothing more, nothing less. That never happens in Into the Sun. Steven just goes from friendly contact to friendly contact to get some info and that's basically it. Only in the last half hour the flick turns into a revenge-story and we get to see a toned down version of Hard to kill. What was the use of getting all that info in the first hour when the baddies get taken down by Steven out for a revenge motive? Next time someone writes a script for Seagal, just kill someone he loves in the beginning or drop some terrorists in the same location he is. Then get him "a shotgun and a patrol car" and he'll do the rest.And make sure he went to the gym before the filming starts... those really close up aikido fights are not very exciting...
My FAA actor!
posted on 19 Dec 2008Cuckoo buddies. Me, I adore films of Steevy. It Ci-beautiful with its is marked out and its large and powerful shotgun. Each time that it speaks, I believe that the text left that mouth is addressed has my own person. That me émoustille so much. Rahlala! I have the impression that he wants me has each minute. IEA! I had a drop of Pepsi in the eye is that hurts me! Zut! I have write what I thought!! HIHIHI! In short, I to him is written some letters so that it come to make a turn of Mongol, I hope that it will accept!! If not, I adored film. With bedroom and bedbug everywhere, I really had the impression that that occurred behind from venous! Perhaps because it was behind of venous! Ze you Amur! ARIANE
Surprisingly good Seagal
posted on 11 Dec 2008If you've been disappointed with some of Seagal's film of late, don't let that stop you from seeing this one. Some people just think Seagal's a joke and hate everything the guy does. But this movie is never boring, it's very violent (like his films back "in the day" were), and the direction by "mink" (huh?) keeps the film moving at a brisk pace. The authentic Asian locations help a lot too.While far from perfect, this movie rocks: it pours on the blood, the fights, the moments of zen "calm" -- all the things one expects from a Seagal film. And this one delivers!Seagal wrote and performs some of the music for the film too. It's great stuff: he's a decent singer and a fine guitarist.Keep crankin' 'em out, Steve!
This film is awesome !
posted on 09 Dec 2008This is one of Segal's best films. It deserves to be seen !!! I think Segals gives his best in this film !!! He is the greatest actor ever !!! He is "Da" Man !!! I've seen this movie five times !!! This is a must see !!! You won't forget it all your life !!! This movie is state-of-the art in Segal's productions !!! See it !!! Just ... awesome !!!Within weeks of its release, it was clearly a blockbuster, a cinematic phenomenon, an exquisite Yakuza epic with outstanding performances... Segal got everything right, creating a landmark in American cinema...While crime may be the first image that comes into one's mind in the film, violence plays a vital part in this complicated tale... "Into The Sun" is a huge piece of film entertaining, involving sentiment, nostalgia, pride, integrity, loyalty, corruption, honor, betrayal and crime...
Back on the right track!
posted on 19 Nov 2008Steven Seagal is Travis Hunter, a Yakuza expert/former CIA agent who is investigating a political assassination along with the naive FBI agent Mathew Davis. After The Foreigner, this one brought us the Seagal we all know and love: The man with a killer squint and an even more killer set of martial arts skills.CONS: A little slow first half, a lot of set up and not much to show for it, some fans may become discouraged.PROS: No Dubbing, nice villains, excellent final duel, good sense of humor, likable characters, exotic location, excellent soundtrack.To leave you with a quote from Travis "You did NOT just have an AD. Are you out of your mind?"
An improvement! Getting there Steve, but a long way to go son!
posted on 24 Oct 2008A few people may quietly utter the words "Seagal's comeback!" under their breaths for this one but despite the fact it looks far more professional than his recent works, this is still a lame dog, totally eclipsed by the comebacks of fellow action men Van Damme (Wake Of Death) and Dolph Lundgren (The Defender, which is best of the lot by far!).This had a good budget and to add to that, Seagal seems more enthusiastic to say the least, but enthusiast still doesn't hide the fact he is clearly to past it to carry on these types of movies. Credit goes to him for adding a minimal amount of character to his performance, whereas other films we see Steven being dubbed by someone else and half asleep. For all that Into The Sun looks pretty polished it still reverts back to tried and tested Seagal plot lines. Seagal here isn't cop or environmentalist he is a CIA man once again. The story is nothing new or remotely interesting but thankfully steers clear of that horrible preachy vibe some Seagal films can have. What the film really lacks though is the most important element of this type of flick, action! The action is pretty sparse. After the obligatory opening the film never steps into high gear until the last 20 minutes when we are treated to some nicely done, but all too brief Sword play. We realise Seagal can't run about as much as before but this is ridiculous. If the sparse action was more than merely competent than it could perhaps be forgiven but there are no stand out action scenes, which is disappointing considering the budget. You watch Lundgrens upcoming Defender, that filming is virtually all action for the entire last hour, and decent action to boot. That was shot for 6 million dollars! Although Into The Sun marks a step up for the big man, it is still a let down. Seagal is slowly chugging away to last chance saloon and with Submerged also pretty lame he has a possible 3 new films out this year that have to pull something out the bag. If at not even one of those is half decent his fans will eventually walk out on him. **
Seagal films are slowly becoming the porn flicks of the sickly action film industry ...
posted on 23 Aug 2008Steven Seagal films are slowly becoming something of the porn flicks of the action genre ... you pretty much know what you get bi-anually when you're holding a Seagal DVD in your hands (do they actually make it into the cinema in the US? In Europe they tend to go straight to plastic ...).Well, of course the film needs to start off with the Seagal character being a soldier trying to rid the world of the danger of opiates by gunning down some opium-bandits in the jungle. The opening scene virtually adds nothing - apart from establishing the aging Seagal as veteran - but, probably as manditory as the lion roaring at the beginnings of old MGM movies ...From there it goes to Cyber-Tokyo of 2004. It is there revealed that Seagal has actually grown up in Tokyo - not just Tokyo but the China Town of Tokyo. Viewers are more likely to buy a rotten fish, than that ...Sad is such: when dwelling over Yakuza-classics such as 'Yakuza' (with Robert Mitchum) to 'Black Rain', the Yakuza gangstaz here are portrayed more like Ottaku. Cyber-freaks, Amikan-oh-wanna-be punks who pretty much imitate, well, villains from earlier (and better) Seagal movies. No more 'asian mystique / philosophy within the scoundrel', the days of the clean-cut, samurai sword swinging gangsters are gone. Well, until the end, where naturally suddenly all thugs (and heroes) swing those shiny Japanese blades, having all over suddenly replaced (or lost?) their 20th century guns. Can you imagine how the film ends? If this film had a budget, it might well have become Steven Seagal's 'Terminator 3' ... & Adios, mujajos. But I figure, Seagal still has two, three good years ahead of him. Which would translate into 4, 5, 6 or even 7 more flicks in which he gets to mime the unbeatable hard-ass. Ah, but fortunatley, all times go by and there are often ways to avoid the next Seagal-flick ...
Don't quit your dayjob, Seagal!
posted on 16 Jul 2008I really mean it. If "The (by now not so) Great One" isn't able to make better movies than this, he definitely should quit the movie business. Each time a new Seagal movie is released, I'm hoping it will be better than his last movies, but I tend to get disappointed every time. "Out of Reach" was in fact a small step into the right direction, but with "Into the Sun" Seagal is back in the sewer. The movie has a plot that sometimes is hard to follow, at least to hard for a movie like this. There are not that many fight scenes, and they are also too short and overall just uninteresting. The most interesting part of the film was when we got to see a short snapshot from one of the newer Gamera-movies. That says it all, doesn't it?
Haunting and Memorable
posted on 10 Jul 2008Strangely, this hugely popular actor, Steven Seagal, has a number of films listed here with thousands of votes, scoring barely 4 stars out of 10.I give this film a 6 because, though I'm not an action movie fan, I saw it on television, sat through the whole thing, understood it pretty well, and I didn't just forget it. I wouldn't sit through it again, though.It suffers from the same ultra-simplicity of plot imposed on most action films. It has, as many modern films, far too many scenes that are black-on-black, trying to substitute night-shots for real frightening things. And often the dialog is obscured by the sound effects or the music, which is also common in the genre.Most such films, I don't remember after seeing them, and can't identify from the description on this domain. This film, though, sticks in the mind. I think it's Seagal's acting here -- the director let him display both kindness and strength at the same time, and he was able to do it.How can an actor have such huge box office draw and pull such poor ratings on this domain's voting system?
Read this *spoiler* before your day is *spoiled*
posted on 06 Jul 2008I have always been a fan of Steven Seagal. I know he is not as fast as Jet Li or as insane as Jacky Chan but he is by far meaner then the 2. I often describe the way he fight as a giant chewing-gum with hammer. He touch you, you stick to him..he hammers you. BUT... "Into the Sun" has put an end to it. It is by far the worst Steven Seagal movie ever. Heck its probably the worst movie this lifetime. I was so worried about the stunt fighters when they punched Seagal. To punch someone with that much FAT can easily twist your wrist. And half the time I was worried that Seagal was gonna fall asleep half way through his conversation with his new partner. And what is wrong with the director. I can say its more of the director's fault then the actors/actresses. The Japanese lady Seagal falls in love with in the movie can't act to save her own life. In fact the acting was so bad I wonder why it wasn't in the Guinness Book of Record.Heres my verdict (as if that wasn't enough...). Take the money you were thinking of spending on this movie...change them into coins....and throw them into the lake. It might prove to be more entertaining. By the way...I was the only idiot in the cinema watching this movie.On a scale of 1-10..I'd say this movie owes me points.
He's a bad, I mean really bad in a bad movie.
posted on 23 Apr 2008Firstly don't see it, if you yearn for some bone-breaking snapping limbs out of joint, which may very well be the only thing Seagal's good at (or was good at). The photography and atmosphere is pretty unexciting, even though I guess the intention might have been for the film to be a bit like Black Rain. The plot is equally uninspiring. The bad guys murder some people, they're so bad that they kill goons who fail their missions. But the hero on the other hand he is one righteous man. He possesses deep knowledge about the Japanese and their culture, and of course about martial arts... The action was almost non-existent, and the little of it we were allowed to see wasn't particularly awe inspiring.What else is there to say? It made me a bit sleepy...Spoiler: The front cover depicts Seagal with some kind of rifle on his back. Never saw it in the movie. It looks pretty much as something that was 3d-rendered and then photo-shopped into the picture.
Atmospheric and tough - Steven Seagal is back!
posted on 05 Apr 2008Once again, Steven Seagal returns to the Asian world to present an action-packed story about one man's fight against the Japanese Yakuza and the Chinese Tong. There's lots of Japanese and Chinese Dialogue with subtitles and lots of Asian atmosphere. Set in Tokyo, Japan, Seagal plays a free-lanced secret service operative and master swordsman. He's assigned to investigate a newly founded crime organization formed by Yakuza and Tong members. This ruthless crime organization is out to eventually control the Asian and US drug market and to destroy the old Yakuza. Seagal pulls out all the stops when the woman he loves is brutally murdered by his opponents. Now nothing can stop him from getting his revenge, and blood is spilled like in the classic Shaw Brother movies. Steven Seagal has produced and starred in a lot of bad movies and I have often considered to scratch him from my list of favorite martial arts and action heroes. But "Into the Sun" restored my confidence in him again. I still believe he can make good movies - if the money, the script and the crew is right. Let's just hope that there will be many more movies like or better than "Into the Sun" to follow. Jasper P. Morgan
Strange, yet enjoyable B-movie.
posted on 26 Mar 2008This movie is just plain strange. Some parts (the beginning and especially the middle part) are just tediously boring. Some parts are hilarious and actually made me laugh out loud, even though that was probably not the intention of the director. And that brings us to the biggest problem I have with this film: the acting is horrible, even by b-movie standards.I know Seagal isn't exactly Oscar material but he's really not doing a good job throughout this movie. And the bad guys look like rejects from Japan's Next Top Model. Sometimes you'll find yourself looking at the screen, wondering what the hell just happened (even the actors seem confused at times).And then there's the good parts. The sword fights are excellent (but why in the world would they go to such great lenghts to point out that swords are obsolete and then use them anyways... oh well). The cut scenes are great (shots of Tokyo at night) and the music is superb.All that doesn't change the fact that this is not a very good movie though. It's passable for a straight-to-DVD release and some parts are enjoyable but that doesn't make up for all the shortcomings.
Oh boy, Seagalia 2005 and I missed the boat!
posted on 25 Jul 2009Actually, I don't even know what kinda stars to give this thing honestly. I mean, if I could replace the stars with a smiley face or a can of vienna sausages then I would do it. I just figured I'd splash this review with a little color and if you're colorblind it probably won't make much of a difference anyway.Okayokay, backup. Basically what we have here is like, "Brotherhood of the Wolf" storytelling, a "Black Rain" plot, a "Street Fighter" script, and "Lost in Translation" cinematography, plus Seagalia. See where I'm coming from here? This is like the movie version of that drink you sip at the gas station when you just mixed all the fountain beverages together (including the cherry and vanilla syrups and maybe a hint of cappuccino blast). You don't know whether to say it tasted bad, it tasted how it should, or maybe you just shouldn't have made it in the first place.Anywho, see, I just watched this on TV not too long ago. Compelled every minute to see how the heck it was gonna wrap up. When you see Seagal's face, okay, put it straight, you know you're in Seagalia. Population trench coat. The country of Seagalia basically sticks to three main practices: 1) Cattle Farming (lady friends and needless sidekicks) 2) Border Patrol (hand based usually) and 3) Deportation (usually via windows). In this movie, you not only got the quintessential Seagalia, but you also learn how Seagal + yakuza + vending machines is a good combination to go to before you sit down for the next Yomiuri Giants game! Education is a Seagalian tradition.However, what you don't get, is a point to the plot, unless you count the chopsticks. So, this at times goes from moments of total hilarity, to moments where you wonder if that's Andrew Zimmern in the background making better use of his camera time in beautiful Japanland. Basically, characters show up, one of them gets shot, then the shooter gets shot, then they go have some beers, one almost shoots himself, then they have tea, then that guy says "KISS MEE", suddenly everyone carries a sword, and uuuhh yeah, someone gets shot, then Seagalia declares independence from the microphone a few times and you can't hear what he's saying. Finally, you wrap it up by discovering how NEW BLOOBERRY PUDDIN' POPS WITH GUYS IN THE THINGS THAT YOU PUT ON A STICK AND SHOOT THROUGH THE HOSE is real and could be in your house right now. I mean, this could be one of the most brilliant socks ever to type down a buffalo. We just can't know for sure.Ah whatever, I think I'm going nuts. I'm done. Watch the movie though, I dare you. Compared to Seagalia, we're all just third world countries.