Simon Says Movie
Storyline
TAGLINES
You forgot to say..... SIMON SAYS
Five college friends choose to spend their vacation debauching at the riverside. They find the perfect place to camp out, but end up crossing paths with twin brothers, both played by Crispin Glover. Glover then begins to knock off the campers in some extremely creative (and extremely gruesome) ways. Enjoy the splatter.
| Crispin Glover | Simon/Stanley |
| Margo Harshman | Kate |
| Greg Cipes | Zack |
| Carrie Finklea | Vicky |
| Kelly Vitz | Ashley |
| Artie Baxter | Riff |
| Lori Lively | Lani |
| Bruce Glover | Sam |
| Erica Hubbard | Sommer |
| Blake Lively | Jenny |
| Daniella Monet | Sarah |
| Kelly Blatz | Will |
| Chad Cunningham | Young Stanley |
| Chris Cunningham | Young Simon |
| Oliver Dear | Hitchhiker |
| William Dear |
5.80 out of 10 (283 votes)
Visitor Reviews
Crispin Glover really cuts loose in this entertaining slasher schlock
posted on 26 May 2009You all know the drill. A quintet of college kids -- hunky stud muffin Riff (Artie Baxter), his snippy girlfriend Kate (a perfectly bitchy Margo Harshman), hot vampy slut Vicky (a deliciously naughty portrayal by Carrie Finklea), amiable stoner Zack (a hilariously goofy Greg Cipes), and naive goody-goody two shoes Ashley (Kelly Vitz) -- go camping in a remote neck of the woods. Since the kids smoke pot and make out, clearly they are destined to meet gruesome untimely ends. Of course, they run afoul of crazed hillbilly psycho Stanley and his dim-witted brother Simon. Writer/director William Dear relates the story at a steady pace, really pours on the over-the-top splatter with the amusingly outrageous and imaginative murder set pieces (grisly highlights include one victim being turned in a human CD player, some wicked pick-ax mayhem, and Zack being turned into a giant reefer), and further spices things up with a delightfully twisted sense of pitch-black gallows humor (Stanley's elaborate Rube Goldberg-style deadly contraptions are very funny in an admittedly sick sort of way). Best of all, the one and only Crispin Glover has himself a field day in the juicy dual role of Simon and Stanley: Sporting a strange voice that alternates between a shrill whine and an overripe Southern accent, doing all these twitchy mannerisms with histrionic abandon, making all these groaningly cruddy Simon says puns, and even stomping on a cute little poodle in one particularly great scene, Glover is a total wacky hoot to watch. Both Bryan Greenberg's slick cinematography, Ludek Drizhal's shuddery, spirited score, and the pleasingly grim ending are all up to par as well, but it's Glover's marvelously manic and unrestrained eye-rolling hambone acting which gives this flick an extra nutty edge. Good, cheesy fun.
The welcome return of the fun gore-fest! See it in a full theater for maximum effect!
posted on 06 Jan 2009EDIT: I just heard today (9/27/06) that Simon Says does not currently have a theatrical distributor. SAY IT ISN'T SO! It would be a travesty for this film to go straight-to-video, since it is best enjoyed in a theater environment with a large group of folks with whom to share the experience.I saw this VERY FUN and gory movie last night at a preview screening at Austin's Fantastic Fest with a full auditorium of horror movie freaks. We had a GREAT time hooting and hollering at all the splattery fun.Simon Says stars Crispin Glover as twins with a HEAVY Southern accent (think Sheriff J. W. Pepper in "Live And Let Die"). Crispin's performance, while creepy, unique, and striking - as is his wont - is flawed in the over-emphasis of his slack-jawed accent. But it does give his character some...ummm...character.The plot is a slasher involving (among others) 5 college students who stumble across Glover's neck of the woods whilst seeking the typical river-side debauchery in the wilderness.This is a funny movie. Usually intentionally so, sometimes not...however, the greatest thing about this movie is the kills. Nearly every kill involves the prodigious use of one, two, or even as much as twenty pick-axes. The most awesome one being the very first camper to get caught in the woods. We see her later on in a deliciously twisted reveal that had us absolutely ROARING! The entire auditorium busted a gut at how that one ended up. The rest were quite entertaining and creative as well.So, check it out in the theater and have some fun with it.
Mostly for Horror Buffs and especially for Glover Fans Only.
posted on 29 Dec 2008A group of friends (Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea, Kelly Vitz and Artie Baxter) decides to spin their vacation at the woods... somewhere in the middle of nowhere. They meet an odd-ball gas attendant named Stanley (Crispin Glover), which his even odder twin brother named Simon (also played by Glover). When Stanley gives them directions to the woods. His twin brothers decides to stalk these young vacationers and murder them but he has his eye on one of the vacationers... he likes so much.Written and Directed by William Dear (Angels in the Outfield "1994", Harry and the Hendersons, If Looks Could Kill) made an enjoyable bizarre wild black slasher comedy. Glover seems to be having a ball playing two weird characters. The vacationers are likable but it was tough to like them at first expect for the stoner played by Cipes. It's certainly change of pace for Writer/Director Dear, who's certainly known for making family movies.The Canadian DVD from VVS Films. DVD has an sharp anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1) transfer and an strong Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound. There's some image problems in the digital transfer. DVD has no special features. Writer/Director Dear has fun creating some clever death traps and as well... moments of black comedy. Although Dear has written too much "Simon Says" jokes, which they don't always work. "Simon Says" is notable for Glover's over the top performances in two roles. Die Hard fans of his work will certainly cherish this... while others won't. Horror fans will have a blast with this. Glover's real-life father:Bruce Glover appears in a cameo in a flashback sequence. Blake Lively from "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" fame appears in a cameo near the end of the flick. Worth a look. (*** 1/2 out of *****).
It's great, as long as you don't take it serious!
posted on 27 Dec 2008It took me some 30 minutes before I realized that I shouldn't take this movie too seriously. Not that there wasn't anything to smile about from the start. There's the usual bunch of teenage friends (the horny jock, the luscious bimbo, the preppy mona lisa, the airhead dork, etc.), it's ludicrous enough that we always take such an improbable pairing of girls and boys for granted, but they provide us with the usual wannabe funny stuff, like vulgar jokes, dumb one-liners and fooling around with each other. But when the killings began, it was as if everything turned dead-serious, probably because of the dark atmosphere and the crazy killing-mechanisms (like some mechanical contraption that propels axes through the air like a tennis ball canon) and the rather gloomy flash-backs that introduced us to the killer-twins as infants. But once we meet Simon (or IS it Simon???) and actor Crispin Glover drawls his lines in a blatant piece of over-acting, it suddenly dawned on me: it's supposed to be FUN!! Everything that follows turns out as way over-the-top: the more-than-graphic kills, the extreme gore and the rapidly mounting body-count (enhanced by some amateur soldiers that appear in the movie totally out-off-the-blue, just to get themselves immediately killed).I have to admit that I found it all very entertaining, as long as you don't use your brain and just go for the ride in this really fast and gory machine. Because, lets face it: the story was totally incomprehensible, I didn't know who the hell we dealt with (Simon or Stanley or maybe both???) and I couldn't have cared less. The teenagers were all extremely annoying (although air-headed Zack turns out to be a posthumous hero in the end) and there were numerous potholes in the script. I mean: how come this Simon (with or without his brother) is evidently for years on the loose, while killing off anyone who sticks his head into his little shop?! Wouldn't someone (the police for instance, to make a wild suggestion) by now have come to check for the countless missing persons? Anyway, there's a lot in favor of this movie too. I you like hefty gore, this is your thing, the special effects are absolutely great and I was really stunned by the wonderful photography, the brightness of the colors, even in the night-scenes, is remarkable!! The kids are mostly good looking, the jock has a great physique (and is allowed to show it), and Crispin Glover is… well, is Crispin Glover, he's not exactly my cup of tea, but he sure as hell makes a convincing weirdo! In the obligatory last scene where we learn that the story will repeat itself for ever and ever, a group of new friends come to the little shop as fresh meat for Simon, and be sure to check out this bare-chested guy, who's totally awesome. What a shame that the movie stopped right there and then!
It's Raining Pickaxes, Hallellujah!
posted on 05 Dec 2008Ah finally, here's another absurdly grotesque and over-the-top cheesy gorefest-slasher that could have come straight out of the 1980's, with its demented killer, stereotype characters and downright insane story lines! Many avid fans agree Crispin Glover is a genuine hero of the horror genre, and he obviously experienced the time of his life starring in this unspeakably nasty homage to bad B-movies & backwoods exploitation horror. Me says: Simon Rocks... and so does his equally sick-in-the-head brother Stanley. Glover stars in a double role as the redneck twin brothers Simon & Stanley, terrorizing a van full of empty-headed teenagers on their camping trip in the woods. Whilst enjoying random sex and soft-drugs, drooling Simon sneaks up on the teenagers and kills them – as well as some other unfortunate bystanders –in some of the most ingenious ways you'll ever see! Simon is particularly creative with pickaxes, as he developed several wonderful traps and ambushes all over the woods that mercilessly catapult the rusty weapons in the direction of the victims. Needless to say Simon's macabre games result in a gigantic blood bath, with gory impalement, decapitations and dismemberment. Of course, there absolutely isn't any tension or plot-development and the only story twist that is worth mentioning can easily be guessed long before it's revealed on screen. Crispin Glover (unintentionally?) finds a perfect balance between creepiness and humor. Although constantly exaggerating in performing his odd roles, he somehow occasionally manages to look creepy & menacing nonetheless. Perhaps that's just because he is Crispin Glover and always has this aura of morbidity surrounding him. One moment he's an ultra-creepy maniac who makes eyeless puppets out of his victims, yet the next he's a sneering lunatic who crushes little fluffy dogs with his feet and yells out silly lines like "You forgot to say Simon Says!!". The camping teenagers are your average routine and colorless lambs to the slaughter, including the pot-head, the muscled macho, the bimbo (who's likely to get topless at some point in the movie), the girl who always complains and the one remotely intelligent & likable chick who will presumably survive the massacre. Textbook slasher-fodder, but I couldn't possibly care less because "Simon Says" is a highly welcome return to the outlandish splatter fun of the 80's. Even the whole clichéd "family reunion" sequence near the end of the film immediately reminded me off several titles on my endless list of 80's favorites. I personally guarantee "Simon Says" is the ideal midnight-movie crowd pleaser, terrific entertainment to watch with a bunch of buddies.
I'm kind of split on this one....
posted on 23 Nov 2008Yeah, I'm kind of split on how I felt about this one. A VW bus full of stereotyped kids heads out to the wilderness to go camping and get wasted, and encounter all manner of strange locals. Goofy gravediggers, and the local uh, whatever they are, Stanley & Simon (both played, of course, by Crispin Glover). The kids are made up of "the good girl", "the stoner", "the horny jock", "the slut", and, of course, "the survivor".On the one hand, there are so many stereotypes and clichés you kind of lose track of them (if you're trying to count them). On the other hand, these kids have picked the best-equipped booby-trapped forest this side of your finest Italian cannibal operas, with thoroughly imaginative mayhem machines that cut a bloody messy swath through some paint ball players who stupidly blunder into the wrong place at the wrong time. And there's a rather impressive pick-ax storm as well.Probably the most annoying cliché/stereotype is the stoner dude, who smokes enough dope to immobilize a small town. And he's not even discreet, just continually puffs away like a chain smoker. But he does get to enjoy one last smoke prior to his demise, & it's quite the "fatty". Talked about a burnout.So, while some of the killings and weaponry are way over the top in masterful mayhem, unfortunately, I thought the film was weighed down a bit heavily with just plain boring parts. With Crispin Glover on hand (who is rather restrained, actually), it could have been a lot more over-the-top, but manages to just break even, really.So, not bad, but not great either. 5 out of 10.
Is this supposed to be a comedy??
posted on 14 Sep 2008First of all I saw this movie dubbed in German and German dubs of horror movies most of the time are ridiculous. In this case it somehow fit the plot and the characters. You get you basic horror movie setting... a bunch of teenagers go out to camp in the woods (Good one: "You know a romantic place at the river? Something dark and creepy where serial killers walk around?"). After the characters are introduced... funny stoner guy, hunky football guy, horny annoying chick, naive chick and the smart chick that is supposed to save the day... they stop for fuel and meet Sicko Stanley played by Crispin Glover. Crispin plays the two brothers Stanley and Simon who are the same person after all because Stanley turns out to be schizophrenic and playing the role of his dead brother Simon (whom he obviously killed like everyone else). So when they get to the camping site the usual serial killer story unfolds. That is packed with as many clichés as the opening of the movie. Girls fall down when fleeing the killer, stoner guy walks into a freezer with corpses, hunk guy gets mixed up between two girls and Stanley walks around, killing people with his crazy pickaxe catapult, stomping dogs, stabbing people, building funny dwarfs out of corpses and having a relaxing dinner with his dead rotting parents. A lot of this stuff is absolutely ridiculous, Stanley seems to have supernatural powers when pinning people to trees with pickaxes and making a human shishkebab. Some party made me laugh and reminded me of the Freddy Krueger Horror-Fun like when stoner guy is killed with a giant spliff and then set aflame. Anyway, the acting of all involved is pretty medium and the movie is not horrifying at all, although there really is some gory stuff in there. To me it came across like an extremely clichéd horror comedy that in many scenes made no sense at all (for example the dead horse woman pointing somewhere) and was stolen from loads of movies you know anyway.
"I'm not going to let Simon hurt ya... why should he have all the fun?" Depends on your expectations.
posted on 02 Jul 2008Simon Says starts as couple Kate (Margo Harshman) & Riff (Artie Baxter) along with their friends Vicky (Carrie Finklea), Ashley (Kelly Vitz) & Zack (Greg Cipes) are headed towards the open forest wilderness for a weekend away from the stresses & strains of normal city life in their camper van. They stop off at a small town to ask for directions, they meet the retarded Simon (Crsipin Glover) & his cruel twin brother Stanley (Crispin Glover as well) but end up have a little altercation. The teenage friends load up & set off, they find a suitably isolated camp site & prepare for the fun ahead of them. However the trip soon turns into a nightmare as the ever so slightly deranged duo of Simon &/or Stanley begin to brutally murder them one-by-one...Written & directed by William Dear I think this was intended as a throwback to the slasher films of the 70's & 80's, I am sort of in two minds about it to be honest. The script takes a little while to get going but doesn't seem to take itself too seriously & models itself on your typical Friday the 13th (1980) rip-off with a bunch of teens running around the woods being sliced & diced by some maniacal killer, in that respect it's predictable & unoriginal but I sort of felt the makers knew this & just decided to have a bit of fun with the genre & the clichés rather than try to change a tried, tested & popular formula. I mean if it ain't broke don't fix it, right? I must admit I'm a big fan of exploitative, gory mindless slasher flicks if they are done right & I have to say for the most part I throughly enjoyed Simon Says. However, the slasher flick is an extremely limited & crowed sub genre that has little scope for imagination & a fairly rigid plot structure which filmmakers can't do a lot with, I mean one slasher film is pretty much exactly the same as the next with some bland victims gathered together usually in some isolated location purely to be killed off. That's the main problem with Simon Says really, it's nothing new or original & if you don't like slasher films then Simon Says will do nothing to help change your opinion but if you do like a good slasher then in my opinion Simon Says is certainly one of the better efforts I've seen from recent times but when you compare it to crap like The Legend of Bloody Jack (2007) that isn't saying that much. The character's are OK, the dialogue is decent & the killer is suitably crazy although I don't understand who the woman on horseback was as it's never explained. Keep watching as the end credits roll as after they finish there is a few more seconds which answers a question or two you may have.Director Dear does a fine job & Simon Says is much better looking than most recent shot on a camcorder type horror flicks that litter video shelves & turn up on obscure cable TV channels. There is also a very pleasing amount of gore although it takes about 35 minutes to kick in, lots of people are impaled on pick-axes, there's plenty of blood, severed limbs, mangled bodies, hangings, a fish is gutted, fingers are chopped off with a huge meat cleaver, there are burnt corpses & a cool scene where two paint-ballers are literally sliced to pieces by a huge spinning cylinder of spikes. My hat also goes off to the filmmakers for putting a scene in which show's the 'cute' little white poodle dog being stamped on & literally exploding! The special effects are very good with plenty of on set gore effects & fake blood rather than awful CGI computer effects which are thankfully kept to a minimum. Simon/Stanley also has a catapult type machine which fires pick-axes everywhere, I was thinking I wish I had one as I'd soon sort my a-hole neighbours out then! Having said that I bet it costs them a fortune in pick-axes...With a supposed budget of about $3,000,000 this is really well made by what looks like professionals, the cinematography is nice & mercifully the makers decided to keep the annoying MTV type effects down so no shaky hand held crap! Simon Says actually looks rather nice, it has a few stylish scenes & is well made, it's surprising & nice to actually see a very recently made independent horror flick with good production values. The acting is alright if not spectacular but why are so many of the cast related? Robyn Lively is the son of Ernie Lively while Lori & Blake Lively are his daughter's, Max & Michael Moody are brother's, Adam, Bart & Brad Johnson are all brother's as well & I wouldn't be surprised if Leila Johnson is also related to them & Chad & Chris Cunningham are brother's.Simon Says is a fun little well made slasher flick with some nice gore, it takes a while to get started but overall I rather enjoyed it. It passed 90 odd minutes harmlessly enough for me. If you don't like slasher flicks then avoid it like the plague but if you do like them then this is certainly one of the better ones I've seen from recent years.
Simon Says this film gets an F
posted on 10 Mar 2008You'd be hard-pressed to find any redeeming qualities in director Bill Dear's new film, "Simon Says". It's juvenile, cliché-ridden, and utterly lame.Simon (Crispin Glover) owns a store in the middle of nowhere that sells nothing. He has an apparent affinity for pick-axes, with dozens adorning the walls of his shed/store. Whenever he comes across other humans, he sports his best retard voice and begins asking goofy questions. No matter the reply, he grins stupidly, mumbles "you forgot to say 'Simon says'", and then proceeds to kill everyone in the scene.The characters take on the most banal forms of teen stereotyping. There's a stoner dude, a meat head jock, a prudish Asian, and two rank-and-file sluts. None of them contributes anything of significance to the story. The dialog is contrived and forced. The actors might as well be reading from cue-cards. Rent any porno and you're likely to find stronger performances.One neat twist is that the laws of physics do not apply within a 1-mile radius of Simon's store. Axes have infinite momentum. Some people can jump and change direction in mid-air. Others can magically teleport into charred corpses.Simon's many strange catapults, which he can reload at the speed of light, rain an impossible number of axes down on his victims. His single-ax launcher is extraordinarily precise, piercing the chest of a perfectly useless character from more than 100 yards away.There is no actual plot. Just a bunch of sterile characters being killed in impossible ways by an aspiring loon.There are attempts at humor. None work. By the end of the movie, I realized the joke was on me.Grade: F Avoid at all costs.
Don't bother -- it's crap
posted on 11 Feb 2008I'm a devout Crispin Glover fan, and will always give a watch to anything he's in. From classics to genre oddities to mainstream pap, he's had a career that touches many points.... while the productions he's in might not all be winners, at least he can be counted-on for an entertaining (and often unique) performance.Not so with SIMON SAYS. This movie is just dismal. Obviously shot on DV and starring a cast of poorly-played stereotypes, SIMON SAYS feels like a student-film... it tries hard at times, but just keeps failing. Story - non-existent Characters - generic and stiff Dialogue - embarrassing SFX - way wayyyy too much (unconvincing) CGII wanted to just stop the flick early and end my pain, but ultimately I was drawn to know what on earth Crispin Glover saw in this project. I mean, maybe he did it strictly for the money (and if this production *DID* ever have a budget, certainly most of it MUST have gone to his salary). I have to presume that's the only reason he signed-onto this pile of crap. Avoid this one. It isn't fun, it isn't "so-bad-it's-good"... it's just a p!ss-poor piece of crap.
Holy s**t what a bad movie.
posted on 16 Jan 2008When I read the comments on this film and see the rating on IMDb I get to the conclusion that there are people who like this rubbish. Unbelievable I must say. If you are not a super fan of really bad bloody slasher movies, than don't see this movie.Slither was a movie that was over the top and kinda stupid, but all with this tongue in cheek kind a way. Simon Say's is to straight forward simple to give me the same feeling. It's all about butchering people with pickaxes. It starts and it never ends. Dogs are being splattered and so on. It is gross, not funny because it is too simple. Killing people with pickaxes is not funny after 6 times. And that Crispin Glover dude. He seems to have a career in these movies, a cult figure so to speak. A guy who refuses a role in Back to the future II and sues Steven Spielberg is an extraordinary guy. But this is an extraordinary bad movie.
Simon says Press STOP!!!
posted on 03 Dec 2007Horrible movie. I give it a 6, because I managed to sit through the whole thing just to see what happens. I have nothing against the actors. They were all pretty good! It is the story line that is not. You want to see a better version of this type of movie? Check out Wrong Turn.It was just your typical scary movie. Kids go camping in the woods, bad things happen. Seen it a million times. Don't get me wrong. I would watch it, but "Simon Says" did not introduce anything new to keep you interested. And on top of that the visuals were not so good...those of which it did not lack entirely.Overall, I feel the movie could have been done much better with a revised storyline and with more personal moments from the characters that would strike more feelings in the viewers.
Pretty bad
posted on 23 Nov 2007The story of "Simon says" is nothing new. Some teenagers in the wood get hunted down by some sicko. So, I didn't expect much anyway in that regard. Still, the movie disappointed me. The teenagers are just your basic clichés for this kind of movie, which is not necessarily bad, but the main problem is the main character, Simon. In my opinion he's just way overdone. The acting is almost like a caricature. So, what should be a threatening character ends up being a (sadly bad) joke. The kills are good, but that's about it. Everything else in this movie just is below par, even for the genre. Still, with a better Simon this movie could be fun. With that guy it's more a pain to watch than anything else. Avoid this movie.
Simon says "Hope you enjoy this good blast of dumb, gory fun".
posted on 05 May 2007We're back in traditional slasher territory for this one, folks: a group of attractive and obnoxious kids go for a camping trip, only to be victimized by Simon (Crispin Glover, a true hammy delight).Writer / director William Dear (the man behind such movies as "Harry and the Hendersons"!) makes this a very silly and over-the-top affair. Don't watch this for anything resembling scares or suspense. It's an irreverent movie fulfilling some requirements of the genre - gore and T & A (although the T & A quotient is actually much too low). Yet, at the same time, it plays with the conventions of the genre as well. I won't deny that it's stupid, but it's a fun kind of stupid and hard to resist.The prospect of watching the almighty and refreshingly offbeat actor Glover playing a slasher villain is one good gimmick to draw someone in, but this is also noteworthy for being a true family affair. The producer is veteran actor Ernie Lively, who managed to get three of his acting offspring into the movie: Lori, Blake, and Robyn. Son Jason (of "Night of the Creeps" fame) is unfortunately not to be seen, however. Even the directors' son, Oliver, gets into the act, by playing the hapless hitch-hiker, and also serving as production designer, second unit director, special effects artist, and storyboard artist!One has to admire Simons' ingenuity. It's obvious that he fills his ample spare time making weapons, and what vicious weapons they are. They seem to be able to cover the entire forest. (While the movie comes up short in terms of nudity, the plentiful gore may keep some viewers interested.)This is additionally an interesting throwback to the politically incorrect days of the slasher genre. It will definitely shock and either delight or disgust you depending on your sensibilities.I can understand why some people wouldn't like it, but I had a high old time watching this ridiculous and shameless no-brainer. It's a positively infectious dose of nonsense.8/10
Interesting for the genre lovers, skip otherwise
posted on 24 Feb 2007To make a long story short: it's not scary, and is poor in every aspect - script, camera, directing, acting.. Moreover it tries (poorly again) to be a grotesque in a way of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre II. So Simon says: "Do not watch this movie".Good news is that it has got a spark of creativity, i.e. some of the scenes/effects were way beyond my expectation like one with a dog, and with flying blonde. Brutal, cold blooded, blunt, not too detailed - right to what it should be.Well, simply avoid this Simon unless you are a horror fan with some exploratory streak.
Simon Says: We've seen all this before.
posted on 18 Feb 2007The always talented & fun to watch CRISPIN GLOVER helps this somewhat familiar horror tale rise above most direct to DVD horror movies, apart from that SIMON SAYS really offers nothing to new to the overly familiar teens in danger/Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip-off movies. A group of stereo typical teens go camping in the woods & are knocked off one by one by the demented Simon, who wields a pick ax & is never one to avoid a messy mutilation. The acting is somewhat mediocre, aside from Glover himself who manages to put in a good performance. The direction is not to bad either & there's plenty of blood & guts splashed around to help wet the appetites of hardcore horror buffs, but once the film gets going, many horror fans enthusiasm may dampen when they recognize to many of the same plot twists & turns used in so many horror outings & the film never really gets as interesting as it should have been. A slightly entertaining build up is soon let down by a flat, uninteresting & very confusing ending & not to mention a rip-off dinner scene reminiscent of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre & it's sequels also brings this down. For dedicated slasher buffs only.**1/2 stars
Fellow Horror fans, Watch it for the kills...
posted on 14 Feb 2007When I first saw the trailer for Simon Says, I thought it looked ridiculously bad and I was put off the movie. However, I eventually gave this a watch and before watching it, watched the trailer again. I grew excited, but after watching the movie - I don't really know why I did. Simon Says is a B-Movie at best and nothing more, and shouldn't be bad mouthed for that reason definitely. It's a decent B-Movie, but at parts it could have been so much better...even at B-Movie standards. The plot is basically about a group of teenagers consisting of the slut, the pretty boy boyfriend, the heroine, the bitch and the stoner on their way for a gold mining trip. On the way there, they meet a creepy guy at a store in the middle of nowhere, and from then on the teens begin being picked off one-by-one...in over-the-top but great ways! That's the highlight of the movie definitely - the death scenes. If it wasn't for the death scenes, this would have dropped down from a 5 to lower. We have hundreds of flying pick-axes chasing characters through the woods, a human CD-player and more. Of course that sounds unrealistic, but that's what is so fun about them - they are unrealistic and fun and you can't wait to see what happens to the characters. Moving onto the characterization, the characterization itself is poor. Sure we are given the basics - one of them is a rich bitch, one of them is a stoner, but we needed more than that. None of them are really developed, and before we know it they are all being picked off one by one. The acting is a mixed bag though, and there are definitely no great performances in the movie. Kelly Vitz is good, as is Margo Harshman and Carrie Finklea. The males are decent, but annoying and Crispin Glover, unfortunately, gives a bad performance in the movie which I'm surprised at. His southern accent is horrible, and it actually becomes a nuisance listening to him speak "Simon Says" over and over again in that terribly fake accent. A shame really, seeing as he's a great actor. Simon Says however lacks in any real horror, and I'm not talking about Crispin's performance. The killer's back-story is at times a bit too confusing, sometimes it's a little too stupid for it's own good and at times a little bit over the place. The movie's killer is not scary at all and could have been a lot better. There's nothing much left to say apart from Simon Says is a decent B-Horror Movie with an enjoyable 80 minutes of ridiculous kills. Watch it for the kills really. Enough said.5/10
Simon Says
posted on 12 Feb 2007Crispin Glover. The man. The myth. The legend. It was a no-brainer that he'd make the perfect psychopath. When it comes to weird, Glover wears it like a glove(..sorry, it was just too easy).He stars as "two" very unstable twin brothers(..or so we are led to believe)who just so happen to be serial killers as well(..although, the film obviously clues you in early that this might not be the case)and their new targets are a group of teenagers, in a van, on a camping trip. Yes, the conventions are all here, but somehow the film takes off in spite of the familiar trappings. The gory violence(..particularly what happens to a group playing paintball in military fatigues)is so over-the-top(..the constant use of the pick-axe is carried to extreme heights such as how they are used in various wilderness traps, mostly triggered by wire)and tongue-in-cheek, the reaction will vary from shock to outright laughter. Glover toys with a ridiculous(..often slowwww) southern accent and his range is so broad, you can't help but wonder where he's liable to take his character(s) next. You watch as "Simon/Stanley" murders folks, wondering how in the world he's so successful, and oftentimes, victims find ways to get themselves in a world of hurt. It's all so absurd and yet so, for whatever reason, entertaining. I think, it's the way the material is presented. You never, at any moment, get a whiff of seriousness, in the tone or material. The film features aberrant behavior and people dying in very, quick, but vicious ways, yet it never gets very disturbing or terrifying..that could be a good or bad thing depending on how you view these kinds of films. The ending is about as demented as can get with another one of those surreal "dinner sessions with mom and dad", hosted by a cuckoo Stanley offering Kate(Margo Harshman) a "hand sandwich"! This might just gain a reputation(..or cult following) with slasher fans in years to come due to Glover's association..and the "punch-in-the-stomach" violence where victims are killed in elaborately gruesome ways(..it's really a bloodbath), but it mostly happens and is over so the viewer can catch a breath before the next person is slammed with the massive thrust of the pick-axe. If I had to choose the most potent act of violence, it'd be when a victim is burned alive as he lets out a "Devil's cry"(..though, when a woman, dangling from a noose, is hurled into the windshield of the van, it certainly packs a wallop).It looks like Margo Harshman, the pretty heroine Kate, will work within this genre for sometime to come. The rest of the cast play basic stereotypes seen in the slasher genre for some time. The stoner(Greg Pipes), the jock(Artie Baxter), the health nut(Kelly Vitz), and the sexually active hottie(Carrie Finklea). They all pretty much play second fiddle to Glover(..and that crazy machine that launches a number of pick-axes at those who Stanley/Simon aims at) who does his usual scenery devouring.
"Great Movie"
posted on 15 Jan 2007Simon Says is definitely not your typical horror/thriller and unlike a lot of other movies in this genre this one actually has a really good story line.I like every thing about this movie the acting, filming and scenery were really well done.these film has comedy and a lot of cool action scenes with pickax's flying everywhere.it's awesome! Margo Harshman who play's Kate is amazing as the lead actress and Crispin Glover who plays double role's as the crazy twin brother's Simon/Stanley is as creepy as ever!if your a horror fan you'll love this one!it's a great movie and i highly recommend it so check it out when you get a chance!
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bad, bad movie
posted on 04 Aug 2009When I saw all these positive comments and talk about different movie I was expecting something similar to what Scream did for slasher genre or something like it. Boy was I disappointed.Granted movie does have and interesting and unconventional opening but then it falls for every horror cliché around. Location, obviously. Middle of nowhere, woods. Characters are your typical group of teenagers. We don't know why they choose to camp there, we don't know who they are or practically anything about it. And you have your typical tight girl, your "friendly" girl, stoner/funny guy and so on. And of course the typical "I know there is something weird going on around here but instead of turning around and running away I'll keep poking around so I'll find bodies and body parts." While first such case is somewhat understandable the second one is beyond dumb.Then we have death scenes. Not that gory but between dumb and impossible. When you think about them a bit you realize this is just not possible.The ending is interesting, I'll give them that but one good moment simply can't fix overall bad impression this movie makes.Avoid if possible