The Cottage Movie
Storyline
TAGLINES PLOT SUMMARY
THE COTTAGE is a relentless dark comedy with an extreme twist. Set in a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for our four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose.
| Doug Bradley | Old Man |
| Jonathan Chan-Pensley | Chun Yo Fu |
| Johnny Harris | Smoking Joe |
| Dave Legeno | The Farmer |
| Steve O'Donnell | Andrew |
| Simon Schatzberger | Steven |
| Andy Serkis | |
| Reece Shearsmith | Peter |
| Logan Wong | Muk Li San |
| Jennifer Ellison | Tracey |
| Eden Groome | Farmer's Daughter 2 |
| Georgia Groome | Farmer's Daughter 1 |
| Katy Murphy | Farmer's Wife |
| Eden Watson | Daughter 2 |
| Paul Andrew Williams |
6.30 out of 10 (1192 votes)
Visitor Reviews
Never 'really' succeeds as a horror or comedy, but somehow manages to be just suspenseful enough to keep you with it to the end
posted on 29 Jul 2009STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning Hard man David (Andy Serkis) and weedy Peter (Reece Shearsmith) are two brothers who have kidnapped mobster's daughter Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) and have driven her off to a remote spot in the countryside. However, Tracey manages to get the upper hand over Peter and takes him hostage, searching for a place she can call her father from. They stumble on a farm house which appears to be deserted, but this turns out to be far from the truth. With David in hot pursuit of his brother, it's not long before they're all huddled together in this remote house...and they appear to have been joined by someone else.Having previously directed the unrelentingly grimy, hard thriller London to Brighton, rising brit director Paul Andrew Williams has chosen a rather unusual choice for his next project. A 'you're not alone' in a creepy house story is not the most exciting or original sounding of stories, and The Cottage doesn't do anything to really make itself stand out in any great way from the many other films before with similar stories. The absence of any build up or character development to the main characters doesn't do it any favours, either, especially since this is a film where they are the only characters in it. Yet somehow, by not hitting too many highs or too many lows, he's managed to make a film that does keep you hooked to the end, as well as raising a few mild chuckles through-out. It never manages to be really 'scary' in any way, but it's driven more by the comedy aspect and as such, it does a bit of what it set out to do.Performances wise, Serkis and Shearsmith keep a fairly effective double act going, as the man and mouse siblings whose plan doesn't work out how they planned, while Ellison goes wildly over the top with her role, shouting and swearing like mad, and managing to create a really nasty girl who you come to feel has deserved being kidnapped. Whether she'll get another role like this or is doomed to a future just appearing on the front cover of trashy lads mags/newspapers (by which I basically mean The Daily Star!) remains to be seen, but I wish her well on the basis of this.Not a particularly inspiring or original film, but it takes a tricky idea and a very small cast and manages to produce a film that still manages to keep you watching to the end. ***
bizarre, goofy, and worth seeing
posted on 13 Jul 2009Peter (Reece Shearsmith) and David (Andy Serkis) have kidnapped the daughter of a club owner and intend to hold her for ransom money. However, given that they're bumbling idiots, things don't quite go as planned. They arrive at a remote cottage with their hostage, and all is well until they take her out of the trunk and Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) seems to be a bit more than they can handle. Now, the club owner sends his son Andrew (also a bumbling idiot), with a bag full of the ransom money, but Andrew is also in on this and doesn't bother to check the contents of the bag before he shows up, and it doesn't turn out to be anything negotiable. And Andrew has been followed by the boss's Chinese henchmen, who apparently have a liking for sharp objects. However, there are worse things in the area around the cottage to be concerned with. Now, due to failed cell phones (dead batteries), David is forced to go find a phone to call the club owner, and while he's gone apparently things go south with the hostage situation and Tracey manages to get loose and take Peter hostage. They come across an isolated farm house and then the real trouble begins when they meet the owner. This is quite funny at times and quite nasty when the mayhem starts, and it's not absolutely top-notch but it was interesting and quite watchable. Jennifer Ellison excels as the foul-mouthed club owner's daughter & none of the would-be kidnappers are any match for her. Reece Shearsmith also excels as Peter, a nerdy, hen-pecked little guy who has an extreme fear of moths. An odd little film and quite fun at times. 7 out of 10.
A bloody brilliant combo of laughs and shocks.
posted on 29 Jun 2009This irreverent movie starts off as a comedic crime caper: David (Andy Serkis, absolutely fantastic) convinces his high-strung and whiny brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) to participate in the kidnapping of an underworld figures' daughter (Jennifer Ellison as Tracey). But everything degenerates into an everything-that-can-go-wrong-will-go-wrong scenario.Then, at about the halfway point, we're thrust into backwoods horror territory, as our unlucky main characters wander into the domain of a mutated, hulking "farmer" whose interior decorator must have been Leatherface.This interesting meshing of genres manages to be something fairly unique and refreshing. The sense of the whole plot being a comedy of errors actually holds for the duration, even when the horror portion comes into play. It's never really scary or suspenseful (although atmosphere and production design are excellent) and it comes off as more of a goof on horror movies than straight horror. But, for me, it worked. It was overall quite engaging and sometimes very funny. (It helps that the humor here, some of it deliciously dark, is actually intentional.) Gore fans can also take delight in a decent serving of splatter. Character relationships are vivid and volatile and the characters are actually interesting and compelling even when at their most unflattering; Peter definitely has the potential to annoy some viewers.Serkis does a real bang-up job; known primarily now for his work with Peter Jackson, he shows here just how much range and talent he has. But Shearsmith, Ellison (whose character is incredibly feisty and foul-mouthed), and also Steve O'Donnell as the pathetic Andrew all take turns walking away with the scenes. The fact that this movie is a good showcase for these actors is another bonus. It's superb, too, to see "Pinhead" himself, Doug Bradley of the "Hellraiser" franchise, in a nice little cameo role.Be prepared for a dumb but amusing post-closing credits sequence that is just one final indicator of the films' blatantly humorous style.9/10
This Cottage is worth a visit.
posted on 27 Jun 2009Two feuding brothers (one smart, the other really stupid & cowardly) & their friend, get more than they bargained for when their kidnapped victim gets loose & turns the tables on them (she was abducted so her wealthy dad would give them lots of cash, the usual) they get ripped off & the neighbor, a hideously deformed HILLS HAVE EYES refugee farmer, starts doing them all in with an ax or whatever he can find in grisly ghoulish fashion, soon the money becomes less important & the need survival sinks in as they attempt to escape becoming dog meat. When THE COTTAGE first starts, it's a kidnapping thriller mixed with elements of a comedy, about 50 minutes in however the film switches gears by becoming a straight forward comedy/horror flick that manages to evoke not only laughs, but hoots, hollers & cringing, over the films outrageous & ghastly bloody kills! The acting works, each actor is very talented & makes his/her character believable. The special effects are disgusting & the direction is well timed & executed. The film only falters in scenes that could have been really terrifying & suspenseful but instead tries to make you laugh dampening the fun. All in all this film is worth a look for non demanding horror fans, if you can sit through the first non scary 50 minutes of the movie, then you should enjoy all the gory carnage that follows, not the best horror film out there, but it's fun all the same. DOUG BRADLEY of HELLRAISER fame despite being top billed on IMDb cast list only has a two minute cameo as one of the towns folk.*** stars
absolutely hilarious movie!!!
posted on 27 Jun 2009I loved this movie, it is definitely my favourite film I have seen this year. I wasn't expecting much as I can't stand Jennifer Ellison, but I was pleasantly surprised. Firstly the first half of the film is funny as hell then the 2nd half is gory as hell but done in a comedy way. The acting is absolutely superb and even I must admit Ellison was perfectly cast even if she did use the "F" word a few too many times. Andy serkis stole the show for me, I didn't know he could act without making stupid noises (Lord of the rings) or being dressed as a 10ft ape (king kong) but in this he is very funny without the CGI. All in all I would recommend this film who doesn't take films too seriously.
Cottage cheese.
posted on 18 May 2009I had high hopes for The Cottage: word of mouth seemed to be positive; Andy Serkis is a great character actor (although he does seem to pick some right old garbage to appear in); Reece Shearsmith was a member of the brilliant and rather twisted League of Gentlemen; the DVD cover promised lashings of gore and black humour; and Jennifer Ellison looks great with hardly a stitch on.But boy, was I disappointed! Apart from a solid performance from Serkis (who really should get a better agent) and some decent splatter, this cheesy film fails on nearly every level, with the biggest letdowns being the complete absence of hilarity (I sat stony faced as the cast desperately struggled to wring laughs from the weak and predictable material) and a script with an identity crisis that completely ditches a potentially fun 'kidnap-gone-tits-up' scenario midway in favour of a derivative 'disfigured maniac in the woods' storyline.To add to the annoyance, Shearsmith is throughly irritating, Ellison swears like trooper (that girl has one hell of a filthy gob on her!) but doesn't get her kit off, and ideas that look like they might actually add something to the story turn out to be a complete waste of time: a group of sinister villagers (including a pointless cameo from Doug 'Pinhead' Bradley) are never seen again, Shearsmith's fear of moths has no real bearing on the plot, and a couple of Asian hit men are disposed of before they can do any real damage.For me, the highlights of the film are undoubtedly the gory effects, which include a head sliced in half by a spade, a partially severed foot, a pick-axe through the leg, and a disembowelment followed by head and spine removal, but unfortunately, no amount of blood and guts can make up for the movie's general lack of cohesion and inability to raise a smile.3 out of 10, plus a bonus point for mentioning the Fleet Services on the M3 (where I used to pop in for a lukewarm burger after a late night at work).
Lock, Stock, One Smokin' Hot Chick and some Barrels of Gore…
posted on 14 Apr 2009Even though my opinion and sentiments after watching "The Cottage" are overall positive, I can't help but admit it was a wildly uneven and even somewhat falsely promoted film. The trailer, which I watched repeatedly because it was so awesome, gave the impression this would be a full-blooded horror movie and – moreover – a genuine throwback to the deliciously tasteless exploitation movies of the 70's and early 80's revolving on bloodthirsty rednecks. Now I usually know better than to have full confidence in a trailer, but this one more or less "tricked" me. The structure of "The Cottage" is actually quite reminiscent to "From Dusk Till Dawn", meaning that the tone radically capsizes halfway through and the film thus ends up covering two entirely different genres. It's a crossover between light-headed crime thriller and cheesy splatter horror, but unlike in the aforementioned "From Dusk Till Dawn", the sudden turnover in style and content comes too abrupt and too late for the film to become a high-flier in either of the two genres. During the crime half, which is already quite convoluted itself, you regularly wonder how they're suddenly going to swift onto horror. And, as feared, once the script sets foot on horror territory all the previously built up story lines and character drawings are largely ignored. The crime half is typically British and thus quite similar to movies like "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and "Snatch". Three clumsy amateur crooks hold the daughter of a powerful nightclub owner hostage in a remote countryside house and hope to obtain a large ransom in return of her freedom. Their seemingly waterproof plan goes horribly wrong from the start. The girl isn't exactly the helpless and petrified type of hostage, the bag of money is filled with paper tissues and the father sends a couple of relentless Asian killers after them. The horror plot only kicks in when the girl escapes and, together with one of the kidnappers, arrives at a cottage where a severely deformed and psychopathic farmer lives. The crime plot is entertaining but obviously hasn't got anything new to offer. The characters are all stereotypes (including one reluctant kidnapper and another one who's just plain stupid) and even though their interactions evoke quite a large number of chuckles, it's nothing you haven't seen a dozen times before already. The horror plot is much more engaging, but by that time there's hardly any more time left to elaborate on the farmer's background. Newspaper clippings briefly reveal his horrendous past, but he largely just remains a mad-raving lunatic. The farmhouse residence, however, is a stupendously horrific location filled with clothes made out human skin and there's even a special room to store the farmer's impressive collection of scalps and human masks. The murders are extremely visceral and the make-up effects are sublime, including the ripping of someone's spine and a cut-in-half head. "The Cottage" is never boring and certainly recommended in case you're just looking for some undemanding amusement. However, if you absolutely seek a film that professionally blends crime, comedy and gore (and even much more than that), I warmly recommend "Hot Fuzz" instead.
Has it's moments, just not enough of them.
posted on 14 Apr 2009The Cottage starts as bickering brother's David (Andy Serkis) & Peter (Reece Shearsmith) pull up outside an isolated cottage deep in the English countryside, there they take young feisty blonde babe Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) whom they have kidnapped inside. They phone her rich stepfather & demand money for Tracey's safe return, unfortunately the plan goes wrong & the third member of the gang Andrew (Steven O'Donnell) is followed & leads Tracey's stepfather's men right to the cottage. If things weren't complicated enough a sadistic psycho serial killing farmer (Dave Legeno) who decides to join in the fun &, well, kill everyone...This British production was written & directed by Paul Andrew Williams & is a rather uneven but often quite entertaining horror crime comedy caper with a certain likable charm. The Cottage starts off like one of those British crime flicks like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) with two bumbling kidnappers trying to get some ransom money for the rather hot Tracey but just keep getting deeper into trouble as things escalate & their plans go wrong, this is entertaining in itself although rather simplistic. Then about halfway though The Cottage switches genres completely to some British version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) as some deformed mutant hick starts killing off the city folk & it's this part of the film which disappoints the most. There's no explanations or reasons given to anything like who the farmer is, how did he manage to maintain a farmhouse by his mutant self, how did he manage to kill so many people & get away with it, why did he kill so many people, why only kill certain character's & not other's & if the villagers knew what was going on why didn't they call the police? Some sort of explanation would have been nice, anything would have done. The ending is also very frustrating as the film just stops suddenly rather than finishing. Having said that the pace is good, it's fun, it entertains & I loved Jennifer Ellison's foul mouthed Scouse character who just had me in stitches with some of the things she said & just as importantly how she said it. Overall The Cottage has it's moments & isn't a terrible film but ultimately it left me unsatisfied & there's nothing of any real substance here, good for a one time watch & a bit of a laugh but not something I would want to see again anytime soon.I watched The Cottage on DVD last night & also watched the 'deleted scenes' section & some story was actually cut including what happened to the two Chinese guy's although I don't think these scenes would have made much difference. The gore wasn't as excessive as I had hoped, there's some guts, some blood splatter, some decapitated heads, a head cut in two with a shovel, a sliced in half foot, a pick axe through a leg a slit throat. The killer farmer doesn't look much different than any other backwoods inbred psycho from these sorts of films.With a supposed budget of about £2,500,000 The Cottage is well made although judging by the audio commentary on the DVD it was shot very quickly. Filmed in Yorkshire here in the UK & on the Isle of Man. The acting is good by some good character actor's although I really liked Jennifer Ellison here & it's shame she doesn't get more screen time actually, actually I never expected to say this but I think she's probably the best thing about The Cottage.The Cottage is a pretty fun British comedy crime horror caper that entertains but ultimately doesn't really satisfy on any other than a basic fun sort of level, overall not too bad but still somewhat disappointing.
Don't even go there.
posted on 08 Apr 2009One of the worst films I've seen in years, 'The Cottage' neither made me laugh nor scared me. The humour is mild at best: Andy Serkis acted well but was working around an appalling script and I was disappointed that Reece Shearsmith (whom I love in "The League of Gentlemen") was given such terrible lines. It is a shame that two good actors had so little to work with: I hope for their sake that this does not end their career. At least the two male leads could act. Jennifer Ellison, in contrast, gave an appalling performance (which was made worse by the bad script) and her excessive use of swearing wasn't wasn't amusing and after the first few minutes wasn't shocking either.After seeing this film (and debating whether or not to walk out), I genuinely found myself wondering how anybody could possibly be proud of it as a piece of work. It pretends to have a complicated plot, but is instead embarrassingly simple and increasingly contrived towards the end.I wouldn't recommend this to anybody - save your money, it's certainly not worth your time.
Horrific fun! Reece Shearsmith shines in excellent black comedy
posted on 08 Apr 2009'The Cottage' is an intriguing, genre mixing film, full of twists and turns - an exhilarating 90 minutes. Its gory and funny but one that anchors the splatter comedy to deftly drawn characters enduring a heightened reality one hell of a night.The nightmarish black comic horror is skillfully delivered, with the gorefest conventions given a darkly comic twist. The film's tongue-in-cheek exuberance humorously balances the grisly nature of the horrific injuries that are inflicted on screen.What makes 'The Cottage' so distinctive is the unusual approach it takes for a film where a gore infested climax is the pay off. At the heart of the film, and what makes the film stand out for me, is the emotional investment in the two main characters. You really do end up caring what happens to its key protagonists, the brothers David and Peter.There is an emotional depth about them that made me wish even more time could have been spent with the pair, their arguments and interplay, exploring their relationship and its bickering background.The relationship between the brothers, brilliantly played by Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith, is a highlight of the film. Their fraught fraternal relationship has a believability about it which grabs you from the moment they appear on screen & the scenes between them crackle with tension, humour and emotion.Serkis's character is one used to being in control, but his tough, hard streetwise nature is under pressure almost immediately as the kidnapping plan begins to unravel, giving way to repressed anger and growing frustration. Although Andy Serkis's David is forced out of his comfort zone as the plot unfolds, Reece Shearsmith's Peter is out of his depth from the start, reluctantly brought into a world he knows nothing about and ill equipped to deal with it at any level. His timidity is accompanied by a moralising disapproval of his brother.Into this mix are thrown two more characters, the kidnapped Tracey and her black sheep stepbrother Andrew (nicely played by Jennifer Ellison and Steven O'Donnell) They are the natural comic grotesques of the movie, hindering and exasperating by extreme measures, a contrasting comic counterpoint to the carefully delineated characters of David and Peter. Much of the comedy comes from the dynamics of their enforced relationship and how they react to the ever worsening situation they find themselves thrust into.Both the quarrelsome brothers are superbly played, but Reece Shearsmith is truly outstanding. His performance is beautifully nuanced with great comic timing and skillful characterisation. Peter is by turns wimpish, pernickety, argumentative, pathetic, vulnerable. He's hilariously yet tragically out his depth. Shearsmith's performance really holds the film together - it's brilliantly subtle and multi-layered. He brings so much to the role, not only comedically but emotionally too. He gives the film its heart, its pathos.The bloody battlefield climax at the farmhouse sees the gory finale delivered with aplomb - the comedy and horror unfold with beautiful pace and precision. Even here, amid the bloodletting, there is a moment of the unexpected and unusual which makes 'The Cottage' stand out. Its a low key, almost poetic scene which seals a growing understanding between the brothers. The badly injured pair contemplate their demise as they look up at a star filled night sky. Its a moment of humanity amid the carnage, sad and touching because its a hoped for reconciliation that will never happen.'The Cottage' is a very entertaining blending of comedy and horror with a depth not usually associated with the genre and its directed with real confidence and verve.There is a sense of sadness in the midst of the horrific fun of 'The Cottage' which lingers in the memory afterwards because its central characters matter and you care what happens to them - a rarity for the horror genre which marks the film out. Its original approach, well evoked atmosphere, at times comically and bloody surreal , the blackly ironic pitch and top notch performances by the two leads, especially a brilliant Reece Shearsmith, make 'The Cottage' a comedy horror whose genre blending works a memorable treat!
The Rottage
posted on 04 Apr 2009Director Paul Andrew Williams brings us he's newest offering after the gritty 'London to Brighton' its a low budget (according to the listings here its a Comedy, crime, horror.... so no mixed messages there then. Andrew Skies, (strombreaker, flushed away, lord of the rings & king Kong) and Reece Shearsmith (league of gentleman) star as two hapless brothers in this well I guess you could call it a film. Peter, (shearsmith) is the whimpish, moth phobic brother of David (Skikes) a plastic gangster with a dream of running away from it all on a boat.the pair kidnap the step daughter of strip club owning bad ass (and very much not-plastic gangster) Annie. the problem is that Tracy (played by Jennifer Ellison; The Liverpool nativity) turns out to be a foul mouthed, head butting scours B*th from hell. add to the mix that her treacherous step brother is involved, and that Arnie has sent in the goons in the form of two Asian assassins with a stereotypical fetish for knives, and you have the makings of a awesome Brit crime caper like Lock Stock'...right?Wrong.Oh well, that's okay, because did I mention that there's a scared maniac farmer who delights in decapitating strangers... ah, see now we have the makings of a grate twist mid way horror, like dog soldiers right?.....No.The film is, poor to say the best. the cast do there best with the material that they have but they don't manage to make there characters stand out. The effects are gory, and seem to be from the Freddy Kruger school of showman ship. and one very telling thing about the script... there's only one good line, and that was more down to Skies delivery than anything else. oh and if you haven't lost the will to live stick around after the credits for a ending after the ending.there's one good joke though but that was in the last 30 seconds of the film.
Delightful horror comedy with a few twists
posted on 31 Mar 2009Small time criminal David and his timid brother Peter, kidnap the feisty daughter of a crime boss with the assistance of her halfwit half brother, Andrew. They take her to a remote country house and wait for the ransom to arrive courtesy of their inside man. Their bumbling efforts are foiled though, as a series of blunders sees their whereabouts become known to the crime boss, who duly dispatches some ruthless Chinese triads to their hidden location. The whole premise of The Cottage is very quickly seen to be nothing more than a macguffin, its delightful set up is soon overtaken by some brutal bloodletting and some brutally comedic scenes. Very soon all sides in the conflict have to join forces to survive the local horrors. British horror has always been my favourite and this is full of the British quirkiness i like, sure it gets its ideas from other films, but this is still a lot of fun. Andy Serkis in particular is on great form.
Serkis in undeniably the star of this film
posted on 25 Mar 2009Director Paul Andrew Williams wanted to "write a film that cost no money and was all set in one place". And the first sixty or so minutes stuck to this agenda pretty well; Two brothers kidnap the daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a wealthy man, he sends out two crazy Chinese guys to kill them, nerdy brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) looses the all important mobile phone and older hard-man brother David (Andy Serkis) swears a lot, all in the confines of a deserted cottage. The dialogue is just about snappy enough to keep this interesting. Not much to be said for the camera work – but it does kinda add to the atmosphere. And then they end up in another cottage and the blood bath begins.It's pretty obvious why they cast Ellison: she has big bouncy boobs and her harsh liverpoodlian accent is juxtaposed perfectly with her blonde hair and Barbie doll face. No one really cares that her script rarely ventures beyond words too rude to publish here – the camera generally focuses on her chest/backside with the occasional headbut thrown in. Shame really; I was hoping she'd amaze us all with her diverse acting talent, but I guess it's a case of you can take the girl out of Brookside but you won't get an amazing actress out of a soap star.Serkis in undeniably the star of this film. The perfect gangster with a heart, his sincerity and charm kept me watching throughout. I'm not entirely sure why he chose to do The Cottage – perhaps, like me, he was hoping this would be one of those rare things; a funny independent British comedy. But unfortunately it just felt like Williams had taken The Chain Sore Massacre and Hot Fuzz, cut out the best bits, stuck the leftovers in a blender and then forgot to cook it properly.By all means go see this if you like blood, guts and rolling heads, just don't expect any intellect in the script.
Mindless, twisted mayhem!
posted on 19 Mar 2009The best way to sum up this film is 'interesting...!' The violence, blood and gore is fantastic. If you want to see people decapitated and hacked to bits and want to laugh at the same time, this recent British horror comedy is definitely for you. The main characters are fun, likable and witty, Andy Serkis is fantastic, the dialogue is hilarious and the film is just entertaining from start to finish.However, the storyline is quite simply all over the place. It's an incoherent mess to be exact! The film just twists and turns in different directions raising a number of questions, which it then leaves unanswered. Characters and subplots are introduced and then forgotten about. However, I'm guessing most people would not want to see this for the plot so if you just want some mindless, gory fun, go and see this.
What did happen in the greenhouse?
posted on 09 Mar 2009The horror-comedy film has to be one of the most difficult types to get right, and more often than not the efforts of those who attempt it are mediocre to say the least. Shaun of the Dead and The Evil Dead movies work pretty well, but other than these two (and maybe the first Tremors) the genre is littered with failures. The Cottage, while not an out and out failure, does struggle in its attempt to mix laughs with gore but, despite this, it does manage to be reasonably entertaining.In a rare leading role Andy Serkis plays a down-on-his-luck villain who has talked his finicky brother (League of Gentlemen's Reece Shearsmith) into helping him kidnap the foul-mouthed daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a lap-club owner in an attempt to earn enough to buy himself a boat and sail away to a better life. The trouble is that the daughter, Tracey, is more feisty than both the brothers and their hapless accomplice, Tracey's step-brother Andrew (Steven O'Donnell) put together and soon has the tables turned.The film switches from a crime comedy to a gory horror when the various characters gradually converge on a remote farmhouse inhabited by a faceless farmer (reminiscent of TCSM's Leatherface) who sets about killing them in a variety of inventive ways.The film never really sets out to scare the viewer with sudden noises or jump cuts, but it does wallow in various different forms of mutilation and amputation. It's heavily influenced by – and references – a number of classic horror films while managing to keep its own identity but, as others have pointed out, it is wildly uneven with the fate of one character and the back-story of the deranged farmer insufficiently explained. Other minus points are Serkis' largely monotone delivery of his lines and a huge amount of profanity. I've been known to utter the odd swear word myself every hour or so, but the guys in this film seem unable to string a sentence together without inserting at least a couple of the choicest swear words.
Amazingly funny...Serkis at his best!
posted on 23 Feb 2009Having watched the cast and crew screening back in London turned out to be absolutely amazing, the film is well written with real thought behind the characters, the relationship between Serkis and Sheersmith was believable and and realistic. Now having seen it in distribution made this experience worth while again. Serkis delivering the goods with Reece being the funniest by far. Although the film had a small budget it still had a greater feel not blockbuster or anything out of Hollywood, just real British beef.This being Paul Andrew Williams second feature length, i can see him going far and high! Thanks for inviting me to the screening in London Paul!
This is terrible and boring
posted on 09 Feb 2009I had mild hopes of this film being at least entertaining. WRONG. It features a plot that goes nowhere and cutesy British humor that gets old fast. Every seen has a "suspense" moment where someone is creeping around the corner or looking with fright at some horrific sight that we've yet to see. Finally, when the horror starts to happen, it's old, recycled, predictable, and uninteresting. They try to set some things up early on and then leave you hanging. I was hoping there would be some payoff but no such luck. I agree with another reviewer who remarked that he was waiting for the twist, only to find that there was none. The story starts out promising but it sinks within no time. I'm always looking for some decent horror and I'm always willing to give films a chance. I understand that everything can't be as good as, say, Psycho, but it seriously took me all my strength not to turn this off and watch baseball, or the news, or ANYTHING else.
Occasionally funny...but I really wouldn't bother.
posted on 09 Feb 2009Comment declaration: I am a genuine viewer with no intention of distorting the IMDb ratings to make people go and watch it (yes...the PR corruption of this website annoys me). Anyway...For some reason I fell for the hype and thought this would be something different. I went along to the Kino on my own and had a big bowl of popcorn ready for the best of British.The film started very predictably and there was nothing new standing out. No interesting camera work, script or imagination.I like Serkis and Ellison and I reckon they both did an OK job. I liked the way Ellison didn't give a hoot how she looked on camera. Flab, bad skin and cellulite...it was all there. Good to see she is a pro about the acting and not just glossy. Her character was mean and moody and made me smile. But it was all predictable physical comedy that relied a lot on the "C" word. Not a nice word to use a lot.I was aware it was going to be a kidnap followed by a killer but I couldn't work out the twist...and then I found out there just wasn't one. It was just plain and predictable with some very dull gore scenes. There is nothing new at all worth mentioning here. No imagination or attempt to break the cliché. As for the ending...well I really didn't see the point. Very flat and I was glad I could go.I would like to say I was left with more questions than answers but it was just such a non-event that I really didn't give it a seconds thought.How will I remember this film? Serkiss looked very mean. Ellison was nastily funny and had a great bod in the back of the car. Very odd second half that didn't really go anywhere.Very very disappointing. Rating 5/10 (because the head butting scene made me smile).
The Cottage (2008)
posted on 24 Jan 2009It is hard to put the plot down in words because there's not really a storyline but rather a story unfolding yet i will try my best.There are two brothers, David & Peter (played by Any Serkis & Reece Shearsmith). One day they kidnap Tracey (played by Jennifer Ellison) & take her to a selected country house where they commit ransom. But everything goes wrong so they, along with stupid fat man make another attempt to get money. Again it goes wrong. Deadly, even.So the storyline seems to unfold itself. Also the storyline is unoriginal. Nothing good. AND the movie is kinda uneven. The first half contains a serious action/thriller plot & is played out as a black comedy. I liked that. Then, in the second half, it still keeps the dark humor but goes in slasher mode-UK style. I just think that the second half with the killer didn't really fit the film. The killer didn't really fit the film. The killer was boring & clichéd & obviously a bit too much inspired by Leatherface & Jason Voorheese. The same goes with this flick. The Cottage (2008) was obviously inspired by the horror classics from the 70's early 80's. But again, that didn't fit the film.Don't get me wrong, the movie was really funny & made me laugh. Yet.........uneven. Anyway if i can look past the story, the villain, THE FACT IT'S clichéd & a plot hole we got a good movie. Of course, the direction, score & acting while not bad, didn't help the movie improve much, the film manages to keep the satire in both halves of this slasher. Another thing, the movie does have a tense scene & has lots of moments. AND, Paul Andrew Williams did both write & direct so that's a bonus point.More points are that the script is funny but contains swear words in almost every line. & the movies characters like to say "fucking" a lot. Speaking of characters, the main 3 or 4 characters are really likable. One more thing, the movie trys to have a unsettling setting by constructing a dark light upon the film. Instead, it just makes the flick seem dull like other UK/England movies.As for gore, there is a lot of gore in the second half & a lot of vicious violence. But some of the violence & death scenes are off screen. Shame.All in all, 3 out of 5 stars.An uneven UK slasher which for some reason is really likable & entertaining. I really enjoyed it.
A real laugh
posted on 14 Aug 2009Although it's not the most original plot out there it was still very enjoyable and easy to follow. The chemistry of the actors was superb and they were all convincing characters. Although the script wasn't the best it was still fun to watch and listen to. the gore effects were brilliant and the directing was above average I wasn't sure whilst watching this if it was delibrately parodying films such as Jason seeing as the farmer has a machete, the farmer rips off the fat guy's head and his spine like in predator and i'm sure i've seen somebody be decapitated with a shovel in a film i watched recently. without a doubt i would recommend this film to anybody who wants to have a laugh on a rainy day or have a quiet night in