The Onion Movie Movie
Storyline
TAGLINES PLOT SUMMARY
We watch the Onion News, America's Finest News Source, with Dana Dobbs, Senior Correspondent Kip Kendall, and award-winning anchor Norm Archer. In addition to watching the news, we see the program's commercials, some commentary on the film as it proceeds, and we watch some terrorists in training. Behind the scenes, Onion News's corporate owner, Global Tetrahedron, seeks synergy by promoting its other products within Norm's news broadcast. Norm doesn't like it, especially when a toy penguin (think Energizer Bunny) waddles across his desk promoting a Global Tetrahedron film starring Steven Seagal. But Norm may end up needing Steven's help.
| Daniel Chacón | Young American |
| Steven Seagal | Cock Puncher |
| Ken Takemoto | Sensei |
| Don McManus | Dennis McCormick |
| Kate Fuglei | Dolores McCormick |
| Abigail Mavity | Roseanne McCormick |
| Reid Weaver | Dennis McCormick, Jr. |
| Brian Powell | Typical Neighbor Husband |
| Adele Robbins | Typical Neighbor Wife |
| Jason L. Miller | Sooty Firefighter |
| Brendon Baerg | Sooty Child |
| Len Cariou | Norm Archer |
| Larissa Laskin | Dana Dobbs |
| Scott Klace | Kip Kendall |
| Tom Kuntz |
6.50 out of 10 (2181 votes)
Visitor Reviews
Very funny, funny, funny movie
posted on 29 Jul 2009It was by pure coincidence I stumbled upon this movie and to be honest I didn't have any expectations. However, Ten minutes into it, I knew I was watching a gem.This would have to be one of the funniest movies I have seen in a long time. It's no holds barred satire kept me laughing from the start right to the end. So much so I was sore from laughing.Whoever finally gave this movie a green light for release should be commended. The real pity is that 'The Onion Movie' is straight to DVD where it runs a real chance of slipping into obscurity. Don't let this happen!If you have a sense of humor, you will love this movie.
A Laugh Here And There, But Not Throughout...
posted on 25 Jul 2009Calling THE ONION MOVIE a "movie" would be like calling JACKASS THE MOVIE a "movie". They are skits that should be seen on television programs, not relegated to such terms as sustainable films or "movies".The only upside The Onion Movie can claim is that it does come closer to having one storyline that is movie-ish. That storyline is played by Len Cariou (FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS) who portrays a fictional newscaster named Norm Archer. He doles out the fake news with deadpan expression while battling his networks overzealous campaign at advertising for one of its heavy hitter investors.The skit jokes take up most of this "movie's" thankfully short 80 minute run time. Cock Puncher Steven Seagal lends his Kung Fu talents to show off his latest upcoming, over-the-top, action flick, a film with broad-based appeal if you're in to crushing low-blows. Other not-so-funny moments are given over to a group of neighbors who invite a young woman over to play a game called Murder but change it up to a game called Rape (not funny at all). The shorter skits get the funnier laughs, though. The infamous "neck belts" put out by car manufacturers that cause explosive decapitation is pretty darned hilarious, as is the overtly sexy songs of a Brittany Spears-like singer who claims complete innocence regarding her rump pumping actions.Finally, the film ends on a pretty funny high-note for me. I'm not a cat person but I know people who are, so when I saw the final skit that "didn't make the cut for the movie", I nearly laughed myself silly. Rolling the cats in bread crumbs then plopping them in a pot of boiling oil was simply awesome.But the film, as a whole, has a lot of problems. Trying to interweave Norm Archer's newscasts with that of the skits really made the entire production feel off-balance. Which could be why this "movie" never made it to the silver screen and sat on a shelf for nearly 4 years before being released straight to DVD.
Just like you would expect
posted on 23 Jul 2009If you're a fan of the Onion, or satire in general, this is decent stuff. It's not any better than the podcast or the web site, but it's not any worse, either. Just the same.Satirical sketches contained within the plot of goings on at a corporate newsroom - that about sums it up.As with the podcast and web site, some sketches are extremely funny, some are not. Which sketches you find funny probably depends on who you are and how you like your comedy.It's one of those movies that you watch only once; but that once can be entertaining if you like this type of comedy.
Hysterical! Funniest movie of 2008
posted on 19 Jul 2009Many skit films in a similar vein never work. However, The Onion Movie is great. The pure satire it delivers on our modern culture is wonderful and funny. Any movie that can parody Britany Spears, Stephen Segal movies, and Islamofascism simultaneously is utterly superb.Other movies that are similar would be Amazon Women on the Moon, and Kentucky Fried Movie. Both excellent sketch parodies of their day, and still funny even today. Of course the film is brought to us by producer David Zucker who gave us Airplane, Police Squad, and the Naked Gun Series. All share a similar style as the Onion Movie.There is also great parody music in this film, particularly with regards to the "Melissa Cherry" caricature on Britanny Spears. The news items are great, and the fake commercials are equally funny. There is an excellent cast, including Sagal, and Michael Bolton who appear as 'themselves'.Don't eat or drink anything while watching this as you may be taking your life into your own hands.
This was bad.
posted on 13 Jul 2009I have been following the Onion since I was a high school student driving to Madison to get its forbidden fruits.This "movie" was completely horrible.It had to happen, I suppose, given the paper's popularity, but this film is uninspired and perhaps the worst thing you would ever see...Assuming you have a sense of humor...There was not one funny line in this "film". Hitting Youtube on random would yield a better result.If you have already grown sick of the Onion's repetitive headlines, you will find nothing of value here.
Smart show, different show
posted on 09 Jun 2009This is a really cool show. During the first few minutes, I thought it's just another meaningless show like the scary movie. However, the next few stunts really caught my eyes. The funniest part is the three songs performed by " Melissa cherry". It's just so realistic and those songs were really "good". Another funny part is the one with healthy problem, obesity. The most brilliant part of this show is that it reflected everything in an inappropriate while descent sense which is so different from any other show such like Mad TV. But this is not a perfect show for sure, some of those stories were just pointless and make you want to skip. After all, I think it's really the kind of movie that you want review from time to time.
A string of skits, loosely woven into a back plot
posted on 07 Jun 2009Very much like _Kentucky Fried Movie_ in construction, with most of the skits presented as news stories or commercials, in a plot about a news station that's been recently taken over by a giant corporation. Some bits are funnier than others, with a few running gags that recur throughout the movie.Don't expect the most brilliant bits from the paper to be transformed into movie bits - it's closer to one of their good issues being written into a movie, with brilliant bits, so-so bits, and annoying bits.Sure to offend almost anyone who's looking to be offended, it's just as sure to amuse anyone who's looking to be amused. I've seen far worse entertainment this year.
second-hand release
posted on 30 May 2009Although I get the point and nature of the comedy and the satire this movie uses, it seemed such a hopeless attempt. I barely laughed, the jokes are unfinished, unstudied and not ironic enough. This movie expects too much from itself, and there are far too many examples of how this type of humor should be used and understood, that "onion movie" just seems to have a lot of growing up to do. It's just some "scary movie" kind of jokes placed in some sort of smart comedy release wannabe. Some friends of mine praised it so much that I probably expected too much also; I'll just have to talk some sense into them and tell them that profound and kind-of-painful humor and irony go much higher than saying that music videos these days are almost porn.The acting was bad too; probably they believed it would add to the satire...
the onion movie
posted on 20 May 2009This Movie is about a TV news company and its supposed to be critical and funny. But instead it is only crap. The first five minutes seemed to be good, but after that i figured out, it is just another "don't trust the conspiracy theories" movie.Don't watch this movie it is a scam. The new World Order is going to create movies like this to dispel the truth. Watch Zeitgeist on video g00gle. But never watch the onion movie. Be always critical! Who the hell is the director of this movie again? Some unknown book writer who studies fish and wales? Come on please don't do this to us. Mixing a Movie with fag, anti Christian and real conspiracy to make people believe it's everything all right. pf ff easy to find out.
Hands down THE funniest movie I have ever seen.
posted on 14 May 2009Witty. Clever. Horribly Irreverent and Politically Incorrect. Amazing.The Onion movie satirizes the modern world and paints comical pictures of human nature that both makes you think and entertains. In a world where comedic cinema delivers cheap laughs from untalented writers, the Onion delivers one heck of a wallop with its quality of production (great writing, good acting and direction). Without a doubt, it truly is the funniest movie that I have ever seen.The movie itself is made up of seemingly random news casts interspersed between the life of The Onion's main newscaster fighting for "journalistic integrity" in a world where the news is treated like an entertainment show.Note that the film contains harsh language, animated nudity, and stereotypes.
Offensive, yes! But to the intellect...
posted on 24 Apr 2009I'm a newbie fan of "THE ONION" as it appears currently on the Internet via YouTube and other outlets. There it prospers as the witty, concise, parody of evening news that SNL News only dreamed of becoming. How the creators of "THE ONION" web video parodies gave way to "THE ONION MOVIE" lowest common denominator, inane fluff, is beyond understanding. "THE ONION MOVIE" feels more like a National Lampoon production, or at worst, an indie launchpad for a witless, money-minded, first-time director. All of the smart, insightful, even moral-driven angst is gone. Where "THE ONION" strove for punishing parody; an eye-opener for those blinded by the formula-driven news conglomerates, "THE ONION MOVIE" is satisfied in keeping toe-to-toe with the plethora of mind-numbing, gratuitous, insulting and sophomoric video antics as seen on YouTube, AFV, Stupid Videos, and the like. "THE ONION" has failed miserably in jumping to the big screen by thinking it had to offer something more or different. More, in this case, means filler and fluff. Different is defined as less than the original; a sad chapter in this promising, comedic forum.
A beautiful satire of America...enough said
posted on 04 Apr 2009I'd put this kind of satire high up on the ladder; maybe one rung down from the Daily Show. This comedy is valuable because it is truthful; how young Pop-stars are whores and won't admit it, and how none of us can take our eyes off an exciting action movie such as the Cock Puncher. Some of this stuff could even be considered a scary omen of what our society is going towards; such as a child accidentally shooting itself being hailed as a brilliant exercising of the second amendment. Some of the more ridiculous humor will be appreciated by younger audiences, such as the comatose diver, and the Whigger kid being arrested and being called black.This type of comedy is of a higher quality than that of Date Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc...because it addresses the culture as a whole, not just movie satire. This movie provides a great insight to how ridiculous this country is. And if you didn't come out of this movie with a laugh...then lighten up!
the opposite of good
posted on 31 Mar 2009i enjoy a good,clever satire as much as anyone.unfortunately this is neither.it is however,sick and offensive and i'm not someone who gets easily offended.it's basically a bunch of mostly unrelated short skits that don't just cross the line.rather,this "movie" actually creates several new lines and crosses them all.i didn't find it funny at all.in fact,i'm surprised it even got past the censors.it's not that its politically incorrect and i'm no slave to political correctness.that can be all right sometimes,if done properly.no,this goes way beyond any definition of political incorrectness i've ever known.it's beyond mean spirited.i mean i guess it skewers some targets that deserve to be skewered,but mostly it demeans people and groups that don't deserve it,certainly not to the degree shown here.it's just cruel.but hey,at least now we have a new word for something sick and cruel that it defies description.that word is "Onion".for me,the Onion Movie is pure "Onion".0/10
This onion will make you cry tears of laughter.
posted on 31 Mar 2009I've always loved The Onion News. Their ability to report with such fervor on the banal, the useless, and the ridiculous has never ceased to amaze me. It was the same in this movie. Take a semi-believable news studio cast and crew and throw at them a world turned upside- down and you have the makings of The Onion Movie. A house bursts into flames and The Onion news-van is the first to report to the other side of the street to do a cover article about a pair of missing socks. The lyrics of a teen pop sensation obvious akin to a certain Ms. Spears are taken into question and a stern-faced reporter is forced to sit in an interview with this certain "Melissa Cherry" while she extols the high virtues of her poetry and her on- screen antics, while each song's content escalates to that much higher of a racy subject. The movie is so dry and so earnest in its ability to extol every delightful scoop on the bland and unimaginative that you begin to laugh simply because it's such a biting view into the monotonous everyday procedures we are all bound to. Take these wonderful bittersweet newscasts and spice them up with the occasional series of well-written skits between them, including a felon holding up a bank and "stealing" a job, and you have the delicious, stale pastry of clever banality that is The Onion Movie.This movie is the reason you laugh when the joke isn't even funny. I loved it.
Seriously don't bother!
posted on 25 Mar 2009Hmmmm... About as funny as getting getting your balls cut off.Crass - Check. Unoriginal - Check. Racist - Check. Waste of time - Check.This movie missed the boat by about 20 years; definitely circa late 80's 'comedy' - and I use this word in the broadest sense of the definition...I think if you smoked about 1lb of grass, severed your brain stem and had a lobotomy you may just manage to laugh... Once. Come to think of it, the people who voted this movie's score so high were definitely suffering from the above mental afflictions.How this got over 1 in IMDb defies logic...Is there anyway to get a reclaim the memory and time I lost watching this abortion of a movie?
Big fan of the Onion, but this movie just isn't very good
posted on 25 Mar 2009I bought this without really hearing anything about it. And why not - I'm a huge fan of The Onion, own all the books, etc. I just love their witty, overly-sarcastic take on everyday life.However, sometimes what's funny in print doesn't necessarily translate well to video. And in the case of this (circa 2003) movie, none of it does. In short, it's simply not funny - in fact, it's almost painful in its stupidity.If you need a video onion fix, check out the Onion news network on their site - at least that has its moments (they've obviously learned how to do it a lot better since this movie). But if you are expecting the same sharp, smart humor of the website, you will not find it in this movie. Save your money.
I like my onions grilled, not raw
posted on 17 Mar 2009I saw the trailer for The Onion Movie on a DVD recently and I couldn't help but stop laughing, so I knew that I wanted to see this movie. I rented the movie and watched it yesterday and I don't know, I'm just getting mixed feelings about this film. Just it reminded me so much of Kentucky Fried Movie, not to mention that the film at the end, I just felt like it didn't make much sense. But strangely enough, these skits were good enough to where they'd be great on Saturday Night Live or Mad TV, just putting them into a random 80 minute movie threw me off quite a bit. Some things were a little odd, some things were random, some things were unfunny, and some things were just friggin' hilarious. I did love Norm Archer though, he was just so funny and I felt so much for his character when he saw a dancing penguin on the desk, well, you'll see what I mean.Norm Archer is a news anchor for the Onion News, a very off beat news program that reports on: neck seat belts, Margo Cherry, the virgin sexy singer, stereotypical movie critics, neck belts for cars, geeks, missing good black socks, terrorists, a working armed gunman, and much more, including the new hit movie, well, I don't know if I could say the title, again, something you'll have to see for yourself. But Norm begins to question who he's working for and how strange it is.The Onion Movie has it's moments, I mean, don't get me wrong, as random as it is, it has some great gags. I loved Margo Cherry, the whole interview, we of course know they're making fun of Britney Spears, only I think it was more blunt. But this was over all a silly clever movie, just how it was put together, it's more of a Saturday Night Live skit vs. an actual movie. But I would recommend this if you need a few laughs, as a movie, it's below average, as for the skits, it makes it more worth your while.6/10
An Amazing Movie
posted on 17 Mar 2009I have no idea what the other person is talking about. If you do not find this movie hilarious, you have no sense of humor. This movie is absolutely hilarious, and keeps you laughing throughout the movie, whether it be Melissa Cherry and her "supposedly not so provocative" music videos, to the hilariously funny inspirational portraits, this movie has it all. Yeah there is racism, and the whole movie makes fun of everybody and everything, but that's just what the Onion is about. The only reason I did not give it a 10, is because the fact that it doesn't haven't any of the regular anchors from any of the news sketches on the onions website, such as Michael Bannon, etc.The Onion is the best!
Offending the masses at its best in recent memory...
posted on 17 Mar 2009I very rarely write about films like this and have had little chance to discuss them on my radio segment reviewing films - but I had to give this film some time (as it has apparently languished for a few years in non-release hell). This film in itself lampoons part of what I do (film critique) - and I have to say they hit it perfectly - best portrayal of film critics I have seen in years (that of pretentious and idiotic snobs with sleepy stage backgrounds).The highlights: Kip Kendal's portrayals, Cockpuncher and the Britney parodies. The down-side: half of the skits that portrayed old news elements, the Santa Cruz segment ( I am from SC, and they could have at least filmed it here; plus they could have lampooned this freakish County so much better), skits that dragged on too long, and the deleted scenes not being left in the film.Most everyone who follows the O site or loves harsh satire will watch this film anyway - but for those wondering or (maybe sitting on the fence) regarding their precious time on this style humor - I would say give it a watch; fast forward at times will ease the pain of what would seem a waste of celluloid, but the laugh out loud moments make for an intellectual eye-candy fest that exceeds all of the last parody films by a landslide.Please enjoy the comedy for Steven Seagal (as scary as that sounds) - he makes the film with his Cockpuncher routines - exceeds any self-lampooning media I have ever seen. Being a Bay Area film critic - I most noticeable saw our main actor as Buck Helm 15 years ago (the Cypress rescue on 880) - Len Cariou is a class act and he pulls the film past being par and into believable - nice work; if you follow his titles - this is his best. You will get bored at times, and you will laugh out loud at least twice or more, but I think this will offend just enough people to make the boards here buzz for at least a few weeks.
What?
posted on 20 Aug 2009If you love the Onion you'll hate this movie. For that matter, if you hate The Onion you'll hate this movie. Its dreadful. No wonder it didn't get distribution. Did anyone who has anything to do with the actual Onion have anything to do with this movie? If so, its probably their summer interns or something. None of the brilliant wit and social commentary is in this boring piece of garbage. This format in general is pretty flawed. I can't think of any sketch feature films that really is able to maintain an audience with out having a running story line through out. There is a small attempt made for one. The anchor is upset that the network is going corporate. Of course every network news is owned by a corporation, but I get its a movie. Still it goes nowhere and I literally laughed once the whole time and that was probably a forced one just to not feel like I had entirely wasted an hour and a half of my life.